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stjernfaerie · 4 years ago

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I finally watched all of MCU

in release order because IT MAKES SENSE!!!!

special thanks to @littlegingrnut who watched ALL OF THEM with me. She’s the best.

Idk if anyone cares at all, but I feel like sharing, so here’s some thoughts and reactions, enjoy:

Phase 1:

Iron man

okay but like how was Tony such a jerk in the beginning only to become like the most lovable character ever??

YINSEN DID NOT NEED TO DIE :((

did not like the antagonist what was that

I mean he’s not bad I just didn’t like him that much

I wanna get myself a jarvis tho

all in all, really enjoyed it

got me really excited to watch more

The Incredible Hulk

didn't watch cuz aly said not necessary

we just skimmed over the important parts

oh and watched the end credits scene

Iron man 2

this was really great

okay but like I love Ivan Vanko hes such a great antagonist

I LOVE TONY

HE’S SO GREAT

THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND EVERYTHING GOSH AAH

oh damn ~Natasha Romanoff~

ma’am-

Pepper as a powerful business lady? YES

just... really great shit right here

Thor

Mmmmmm I don't see the hype about Loki??

his two faced-ness is annoying me

also Thor? I didn't love him at first,, he's a bit cliché

STELLAN SKARSGÅRD YES SWEDISH REP

okay but Thor is a good boi actually,,, I take it back he’s pretty great

Oh nooo Loki - yeah lol as if he actually died

YO WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT END CREDITS SCENE that got me all like WTF and shit

also told ya Loki didn’t die

Captain America: The First Avenger

okay full disclosure, I actually watched this one time before bc I started watching them in chronological order but never got any further than this

it made so much more sense this time

I liked it so much better this time

because THE RELEASE ORDER MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

anyway

this was good !!

I'm gay for Peggy omg

and Steve is such a good boi

DID BUCKY REALLY HAVE TO DIE

all in all not my favourite tho, not too memorable tbh

"I had a date" 😭

The Avengers

ohhh man

ALL OF THEM TOGETHER? UGH YES

Oh hello Dr. Banner nice to see u

Loki bro pls chill

OKAY HULK HELLO

NATASHANATASHANATASHA AAAHH I'M GAY

still don't get the Loki hype tbh. maybe a lil bit but idk

THOR OKAY I LOVE THOR NOW

TONY WHAT THE FUCK NO NO NO TONY DON'T

oh okay he's good

I love them all so much oh gosh

I MADE IT THROUGH PHASE ONE WOHOOOO

***

Phase 2

Iron man 3

this movie changed me

aly can confirm - I was very much not okay after seeing this

literally had anxiety through all of it

I mean I LOVED it

but like

the ptsd :(((

although I do love that they showed that, just made me love Tony even more

just... showing the ugly parts - love that shit

but also like noooo tony bby :((((

HARLEY!!!! IS SO GREAT !!! AND ALY SAID HE COMES BACK AT ONE POINT!! YAY

just.... Tony Stark man.

great antagonist, love the whole mandarin thing

EXTREMIS? NO THANK U that honestly gives me like zombie ish vibes or smth I don’t like it

but like it was great

OH PEPPER JUST BECAME 10x HOTTER DAMN SHE JUST GETS MORE AND MORE ATTRACTIVE EACH MOVIE HUH

PEPPER ALMOST DYING? NOPE

THE PAIN IN TONY'S FACE? NOPE

all in all loved this so much and I am still not really okay

Thor: The Dark World

I see why people think this is the worst Thor movie.

DON’T GET ME WRONG IT WAS GREAT

but like,,, meh? the big end fight was so anti-climactic? not epic at all like what the fuck

I LOVE DARCY

but she's clearly gay so stop makin her fool around with the intern

but like Thor is such a soft boi and I love him

again, Loki's two-faced-ness – aRH

but,,,, I get the Loki hype now

I'm aboard the train

I love Loki

oh oh oh the part in his prison cell when Thor comes to talk to him and is all like "enough tricks" and then his cell is all torn up and he's all torn up and AH BABY 😭

Thor just needs cuddles

Aaaaand this is where I accidentally got the worst possible spoiler. :)))

I wanted to watch some wholesome Tony Stark content before bed and so I searched youtube for "Iron Man" and clicked on a video I thought looked nice and wholesome. I accidentally read the top comment and then proceeded to break down and freak out to Aly and Hanna on Aly’s live, and they comforted me and stuff <3

Aly then told me that “hey remember that I told you that the little boy in Iron Man 3 comes back at one point? Yeah that’s at the funeral”

STUPIDLY, I then watched the death scene on YouTube, went to bed crying, and of course, dreaming about it. I will never be okay again and I will never be ready for Endgame thank you and goodbye.

anywAY,,,,,

Captain America: Winter Soldier

*SO MUCH SCREAMING*

I thought that Bucky didn’t deserve to die - and he didn’t - but like,,, DYING WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN THIS

the ~bromance~

nat and steve I mean, so good

I AM NOT OKAY I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS MOVIE BUT IT WAS AMAZING

Natasha tho mmmmmhhf

I was rly confused while watching but like everything came together at the end and it was so nice and damn this is one of my favorites so far

Sam is great I want more of Sam

Guardians of the Galaxy

multiple people had told me that they thought I’d really like this movie

honestly? I didn’t

it was kinda meh?

like I found it very predictable and cliché and not in a delightful way

idk if it’s just that I know that Chris Pratt is a dick but I don’t like Peter

I rly like Gamora and Nebula, but like I’m a lesbian, so I don’t think anyone’s surprised that I like the traumatized warrior gals

but like in general I’m kinda disappointed

I only gasped like twice, and it was barely gasp-worthy moments

Avengers: Age of Ultron

All of them together just makes me so happy, they’re so cute with each other AH

loved Ultron as the antagonist. that was great.

but,,,, I was a bit disappointed that we didn’t really get to see any regret from Tony bc he created Ultron

THE TWINS ARE FANTASTIC

whatever’s going on with Bruce and Nat, I don’t like it

TOO MANY moments that reminded me of the spoiler that I refuse to speak. Did not enjoy

everyone just needs to be hugged why doesn’t anybody HUG THEM????

not happy about Jarvis dying :((( even tho he technically didn’t die but like HE’S NOT JARVIS ANYMORE IS HE

and then Tony just replaces him with this Friday just like that??? no i’m not okay with that

in a ranking scenario this one falls in like the top of the middle range? Like it’s not one of the favorites, but it’s still up there.

I FUCKING DID IT AGAIN ARGH

I was just reading about new MCU projects that are coming up and THERE WAS A SPOILER WARNING, but STUPID AS I AM I DISREGARDED that and kept on reading. I was just skimming through the text and I read “Loki who dies” and stopped right there, because AAHH FUCKING SHIT

I was on a call with Aly as this happened and so I told her that I had given myself a spoiler again and that it was about Loki, and she was all like I can’t remember anything that happens to Loki hmm, and so I thought YAY it’s okay, they just meant one of the times when he fake died!!! so I went on to keep reading, but before I could read anything else Aly stopped me, remembering. She told me it would be gut-wrenching and terrible and I’m just-

So disappointed in myself.

Ant-Man

it was an enjoyable movie, but like,,, a little meh?

I feel kinda the same as I did with GOTG

but I like each of them better than the other for different reasons? idk???

the plot wasn’t very thick, like I could have gone away to pee without pausing and probably not miss too much

I didn’t really get invested in the story or the characters

but it was enjoyable for sure

Sam!!! Hello!!!!

Again, like with GOTG, I found it kinda cliché, but in a more delightful way this time

WE MADE IT THROUGH PHASE 2 AND PASSED THE HALF-WAY POINT WOHOOOOO

***

Phase 3

Captain America: Civil War

I constantly needed to be hugged while watching this

in the end I was fine, like I’ve been way less okay after some of the other movies, but during? needed hugs and cuddles

I love that they were fighting each other it was just... umff you know

but also like,,, LOVE EACH OTHER

Wanda and Vision? no thanks I HATE IT

Steve and Sharon?? NO THANKS I HATE IT

literally that’s just weird on SO many levels

and that kiss was-- ugh I hated it.

SPIDER BOY !!!!! UGH I LOVE HIM ALREADY

Black Panther heLLOOO

ALL THE STUCKY THOOO

Tony and Steve fighting in the end got me :(

Doctor Strange

This one falls at the bottom of my list

It was the shortest movie but it felt SO LONG because I was so bored through all of it

it just never got me hooked, I didn’t get invested in the story at all.

there weren’t even any characters that I liked enough to want to see more

sure another infinity stone and getting to know doctor strange and shit, I get why you kinda need to watch it

but I doubt I’ll watch it again

Guardians of the Galaxy 2

just like with the first one, kinda meh

I didn’t really get into it until the last half hour or so

the music really carried this movie tho

and baby groot !!!

I love Nebula so much, such a great character

Yondu dying was really great, it did a lot for his character

I still don’t really like Peter Quill

I feel like it was barely contributing to the infinity saga, the only thing that’s somewhat connected is that Nebula wants to kill Thanos, and the only reason I know that’s connected is because of spoilers

because I’m not really supposed to know the significance of Thanos at this point

but then again, maybe I’ll feel differently when I’ve finished all the movies

Spiderman: Homecoming

SPIDEY BOY !!!!!!!!!

THIS IS A FAVORITE

I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS MOVIE

THE TONY/PETER INTERACTIONS WERE SO GREAT

PETER IS A BABY AND HE’S SO GREAT AND AAAAAHH

HE’S ON MY LIST BTW

AND LIKE,,, CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS FIGHTING SOUNDS COMPARED TO EVERYONE ELSE’S???? Like steve and thor and shit are all like huOH heeeUH oAH ya know?? and then peter’s over here like eeh heh mmmMHF

HE’S JUST REALLY GREAT AND AAH I LOVED THIS MOVIE SO MUCH

LITERALLY SMILED THROUGH ALMOST ALL OF IT

except when things were going bad and during the fight scenes and shit and when he was in big danger and stuffs

BUT LIKE AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

SO GOOD

OH OH OH AND STEVE’S LITTLE EDUCATIONAL VIDEOS WERE SO CUTE AH

hehehheheh and the end credits tho heheheheh

ANYWAY I LOVED THIS MOVIE SO SO SO SOO MUCH

Thor: Ragnarok

ANOTHER FAVORITE AAAAH

ALL THE BROTHERLY MOMENTS THO

Kinda mad that we didn’t get a hug there in the end but oh well

Thor is so sassy and goofy in this one I love it

ugghhhhh I love Loki so much

Hela has so much Maleficent vibes

Heimdall yESSS !!!

all the Thor/Hulk interactions were so PRECIOUS AAH

this was just such a great movie with great character development for both Thor and Loki and ughhhh IT WAS SO GOOD

“get help” was fucking ICONIC

VALKYRIE THO

oof not excited for infinity war :((

Black Panther

this one falls somewhere in the middle for me

like it was good, but it’s not up there

my main issue with it is that it didn’t really feel so much like a superhero movie, it was more just like... family drama

but Shuri tho, love her

and all the awesome ladies fighting!!! yes!!!!

BUCKY!!!

Avengers: Infinity War

I am not okay

I will never be okay again

I thought Loki dying was gonna be the worst part - and honestly, knowing about it beforehand made it less painful actually

but NO NO NO

THE LAST 15 MINUTES IS JUST A CRYFEST HUH

REAL NICE THANK YOU

oh gosh I can’t even think

I told y’all I didn’t like Peter Quill and well, HE DESERVED WHAT HE GOT

oh gosh nope

I’ve been feeling guilty that all of y’all had to wait a full year for endgame but AT LEAST THEN YOU HAD TIME TO BE OKAY AGAIN BEFORE ENDGAME

fucking shit what have I gotten myself into

Ant-Man and the Wasp

I liked this one better than the first ant-man

It’s still not up there but it was good

idk it could just be bc I know the characters more this time or because I kind of had pretty low expectations but I liked this more

oh also maybe I was just happy that I didn’t have to see like all my favorite characters die like I did yesterday :(((

still not okay

anyway, ant-man and the wasp

I really liked Ava, really great character honestly

I liked Hope a whole lot more this time around

still don’t really like her and Scott together, especially after her mother like talked through him and shit. I feel like if I was Hope and my mother talked to me through my love interest, I would feel pretty weird about it all

but maybe that’s just me idk

oh but what I do like about scott and hope is all of hank’s comments about them

he’s funny hehehe

also Luis! great dude

okay but Bill FOSTER???? as in JANE FOSTER?? SEEMINGLY HAVING NO CONNECTION AT ALL???

there’s too many double names in this whole ass franchise and I’m upset

two Peters, two Eriks, two Fosters.... like I know that’s what real life is like, people have the same names, but THIS IS FICTION

YOU CAN AVOID THE CONFUSION

that wasn’t totally related to this movie specifically but this was the third strike dudes, I couldn’t just ignore it anymore.

oh oh oh and I did not appreciate the mid credits scene, I DON’T NEED REMINDERS OF THAT PAIN THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Captain Marvel

this one falls somewhere in the middle for me

like it was good, and I enjoyed it a lot, but it just wasn’t really anything that left me all like woooaaaah omg AH you know???

I really liked how it connected back to previous movies like with Ronan and the Kree people from GOTG and the tesseract and all that jazz

where can I get myself a flerken tho I want one

I appreciate that no one turned into dust, that was nice

my main problem with this movie is that HER POWERS MAKE NO SENSE

like in the beginning it was kinda okay. I didn’t understand her powers, but at least they felt reasonable

then we got to the end and all of a sudden she’s flying and glowing and strong enough to stop and redirect a fuckin missile, and then she’s FLYING INTO BOMBS AND COMING OUT THE OTHER END COMPLETELY UNSCATHED??

OH AND THEN SHE FLIES INTO FUCKIN SPACE WITHOUT A HELMET OR ANYTHING AND SHE CAN BREATHE JUST FINE???

it just makes no sense, it’s completely unreasonable and it makes her too perfect to me. Too unbeatable. I don’t like it.

but all in all a good movie, loved seeing young Fury and shit

Avengers: Endgame I WILL NEVER BE READY

As I thought, I wasn’t ready

But, I actually think that knowing about Tony beforehand made it a bit easier

I still wish I hadn’t known

and I still bawled like a baby

but like,,, I think I would have been way worse off if I hadn’t known

I’m just so sad now

I really need a hug

and even though I just cried more than I’ve done all year I need to cry some more I think

I’m glad everyone who got dusted came back, although I kinda knew they would

well, I would have been fine with Quill staying dusted tbh. I really don’t like that guy

NATASHA WAS NOT ALLOWED TO DIE, I WILL NOT BE OKAY WITH THIS :(

oh gosh yeah I know I have more thoughts about this movie that I wanna say but I need to be more okay first oh man

okay hi again, it’s the next day and I’m still sad but here are some more thoughts:

I hated the whole Bruce/Hulk think. All the good parts about each side of his character were just erased.

I don’t even see the purpose of it.

Okay I kinda knew that Steve was gonna go back to the 40s, but I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT SO SHH

anyway, I didn’t like Steve staying in the 40s, and here’s why:

he knew that this was the single one out of 14 million times they won against Thanos, so he knew that changing anything at all would fuck it up

but at the same time, I find it hard to believe that Steve could be aware that Tony and Nat dies and not want to do anything about it

even though he knows he can’t

so wouldn’t it have been easier to just go back to the present after he returned all the stones? So he wouldn’t have to live with that dilemma?

ALSO, I WILL NOT ACCEPT that after everything he did to get Bucky back, he just leaves him. Just like that.

Literally the only reason this makes sense is as a setup for the Falcon and The Winter Soldier Disney+ series.

But I still don’t like it

Spiderman: Far From Home

This was nice, I needed this.

I didn’t like it as much as homecoming, but I didn’t expect to considering how much I loved hoco

it was really nice to see some more Peter Parker bc i love him but also like,,, most of it was traumatized spidey boy :((( and that was sad :(

He’s literally just a child and he’s already so damaged and it’s big big sad

the high school vibes were immaculate

not that I’ve actually been to high school in the US but like,,, it felt like a high school movie okok

Okay but like May’s character really did a full 180? I don’t really understand where that all came from, but uhhhh okay then

Okay, Quentin Beck.

before we realized he was bad, I already didn’t like him, cuz it seemed like he was gonna start to become a new father figure for Peter and I WAS NOT COOL WITH THAT

but then I understood that that wasn’t happening so it’s all good

he’s a pretty cool antagonist. not a fave, but pretty cool.

OH OH FLASH IS SO GAY FOR SPIDERMAN THO RIGHT

he actually got some real nice character development that I had not expected, that was nice

all in all, great movie, I love my spidey boy.

pretty sad that I’m done tho... :(

but also like, I watched all of them (except incredible hulk) in 34 days. That’s kinda impressive, right?

ALSO THERE’S NO MORE SPOILER DANGER YAY !!!

and finally, here is my ranking of the movies based on how much I liked them:

0. The Incredible Hulk ( didn’t watch )

SPIDERMAN: HOMECOMING

Thor: Ragnarok

Captain America: Winter Soldier

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Iron Man 3

Avengers

Captain America: Civil War

Spiderman: Far From Home

Iron Man

Avengers: Infinity War

Thor

Avengers: Endgame

Iron Man 2

Thor: The Dark World

Captain Marvel

Black Panther

Captain America: The First Avenger

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Ant-Man

Guardians of the Galaxy

Doctor Strange

#i did it guys #aw man #i'm a little bit lost now tbh #like what do i do now #ooc #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #infinity saga

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wildflowerwattpad0217 · 4 years ago

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Avenging Riverdale: Riverdale x Avengers/ Sweet Pea x OC!Tony Stark’s Daughter. My Reaction After Completing it and A Year Of Working On It.

This will include spoilers to my fanfic her is the link if you want to read it:

Avenging Riverdale

Masterlist

One paragraph is one chapter.

(not a chapter) Im going to be honest, in my mind their are two sections of Avenging Riverdale. Before my Brain Surgery and after because if you have read my fanfic all the way though, Author Notes and all, you know that I had to stop writing Avenging Riverdale for awhile so that I could focus on healing from that.

A trigger warning, good. Two part cast. Prologue. Tally is in deep shit. Steve picked her up and took her hungover ass to the living room. To Riverdale she goes. The horrible fake screenshots. I stopped doing that though because I couldn't find one for a group chat. Her and Tony's fights are rough. She snuck out to a soup kitchen. I feel bad for abandoning that. Cap found out. Tony put a tracker on her. Wtf but they are getting along. Now the Avengers are worried tho. They are shook they are getting along. After her dad became Iron Man things went downhill in her life.

Welcome to Riverdale. 'Murcia is Cap's group chat name. Short Stark is Tally's and Deadpool just got in it. His is World's Biggest Cry Baby. Peter's explanation of how he knows Deadpool is the most Gen Z thing ever. MJ is Tally's Slut. Tally is MJ's Bitch. Hello Cheryl Blossom.

Bucky has been eating Tally's cereal. She's acting betrayed. Veronica is surprised she didn't kill him. She heard someone mispronounce her name. She corrected them. Betty Copper. Kevin Keller. Kevin is fan-girling. She has blueberries. Jade Keller. Jade is trying to hate on her and her family. Cat Andrews. Jade is dragging her by the wrist while Cat is acting like this is a completely normal thing. Andre Clayton. Jade and Tally would've made a great couple. God damn my crush on Malachi and Sweet Pea. Andre is questioning why Jade just kidnapped Thalia Stark amd why she's at Riverdale High. Tally is questioning why there are so many redheads.

Betty warning Tally about Jade. Song writing with her new friends, Jade, Cat and Andre. She's allergic to roses. She doesn't want to talk about her family problems. The Welcome Back Dance. Archie Andrews. Jade and Tally are dancing together. I swear to god my gay-dar is broken. She rejected Reggie Mantle.

MJ being possessive on insta. Thalia punched Reggie Mantle. It's so weird looking back and seeing Tally not know what's going on her mom. Bucky trying to be a supportive boo. The first mention of Nick St. Clair. Her telling Jade what happened. Jason Blossom's body being found.

Omg, I published chapter 5 for 100 reads. That seems so long ago now that the book is almost at 45k reads. Tony and Pepper are getting married.... I didn't get them married until Endgame. Tony and Tally are going to Pop's. She is not at liberty to answer the question of whether or not she jacker War Machine's suit just so he would do the macarena without a lawyer. Bucky, it's her job to make you feel old.

Hydra nightmare. She's talking to her dad about the nightmare. Then she was like now that we had a hard time going down to the basement to tinker. Whether she wants to admit her or not I wrote her a lot like her dad. Malachi. Malachi obviously cares about Tally. Malachi knows that Nick St Clair hurt Tally. They had sex. I'll be honest with you, I wasn't sure if in the end she was going to end up with Malachi or sweet pea at this point I was still debating it. Malachi kept her hair brush.

Tony just apologized to her for pushing. Jade just stole her for a minute. Malachi left hickeys. I love Tally and Bucky's relationship. Tally is Pepper's maid of Honor. Tony's cooking?

Jade now knows about Malachi. Veronica brought roses in his school and Tally starred sneezing. Tally telling Reggie I don't need the Avengers to kick your ass.

Kevin knows about Malachi now. Nat as chasing Bucky. I love how tally is a moderator for these little fights. Tony is going to spar with Tally, he's going to get his ass kicked so hard. Bucky that $50 on tally. Cap betted $50 on Tony saying that her emotions would get the best of her. Tally won. But Tony is blowing it off like oh I let you win. Thalia Stark got a pep rally who would ever see the day. Tally thinks her dad's hiding something from her. Jughead expected her to have a stick at her ass. I love tally I really miss writing her. It's because of lines like Tony Stark is my dad, iron Man's just suit that just really make me miss her.

That was really sweet and it almost made me cry I forgot I wrote that part. Cheryl just got arrested for lying. Tally proving her genius. Reggie asked her on a date.

The Avengers just found out she's going on a date, they're not exactly happy well, the male Avengers aren't especially since she punched the guy in the face. Pepper is getting emotional. Cap answered the door. Mantle is shook. After the date, he dropped her at home and closed the door before he had a chance to kiss her.

Reggie mantle trying to slut shame tally. She is pissed, she ran into that boy's locker room. She's threatening to expose his dick pics. Which he thinks that it matters that she's not in New York anymore when she's the one with all the security clearance and she's Thalia fucking Stark. The extra points she got just because Reggie met The Avengers. Everyone keeps reminding her murder is illegal. Tally wants to destroy his car, Nat is like go for it and everyone's like Nat, no do not influence her to do this. Rhodey it doesn't think Tony should be supporting her in this. She got her revenge. Mantle is pissed, just actually wanted it. Her dad had a screaming match with the principal.

Malachi is starting to miss her. Toni Topaz. Sweet Pea. Fangs Forgarty. FP Jones. Beck Oliver. And Sweet Pea's nickname is born, Sunflower. Toni loves her. Mantle tried to apologize, but it was a shit apology so she blew him off.

The drive-in is being bought. Malachi wants me to come over after school. Malachi asked her out. He's giving her time to think about it. Family dinner.

Really bad nightmare. Then she had a panic attack because of the nightmare. Tony got pops burgers for breakfast.

Malachi and tally are officially in a relationship. The meeting of the New York friends and the Riverdale friends. Her dad's wearing an iron Man onesie. Steve is wearing Captain America pajamas. Clint is wearing a big bird onesie. Her dad is leaving from New York tomorrow to present an invention and wants her to go.

She is staying in Riverdale. Her dad asked her to stay away from The lodges. Tally you telling off Cheryl. Steve you fucking snitch. Talking about Tally's pranks. Peter is worried about her.

The accords. Tony wants her opinion on it. She thinks it's the most stupid idea ever. The governor wants her to sign it but she's refusing to. He doesn't want her to sign it either. She knows more about her mother than he's talking about. Honestly it is so weird looking back at this and having her mom not being revealed like this.

The accords meeting. Tally just walked out of school to be there. Tony knows he fucked up.

Rest in peace Peggy Carter my queen. Yes Nick, help her stop the fight in a Target parking lot. Tally is such a mom. When tally even bosses the King around, threatening to reveal his internet browser history. She just compared them all the toddlers. She just met Ant-man. Ruby Lodge is her mother.

Ruby Lodge also happens to be Hiram Lodge's little sister. Tally was born in Riverdale. I really abandoned the UN plot line.

Her and Jade are going to sing at the variety show. Take A Hint for the audition tho with Mantle in the crowd. Josie wants to talk to her alone. Veronica is pissed she didn't her they were cousins. Dinner party at the Pembroke.

Deadpool. After the variety show her and Deadpool are on the roof eating chimichangas. She's helping Betty look for her sister. She's going to go clubbing with Veronica, Kevin, Jade, and mantle. Cap is really easy lie to. Malachi is there and he's cheating on her.

She called Malachi a dirty mouthed whore. She just got a package from the Ten Rings. PROJECT INTERMISSION. right now she's thinking Hydra in the 10 rings are working together. She can't go to Polly's baby shower because she's doing some investigating of her own.

Soup kitchen talking to the serpents. Tony just asked what's the tea. Tony has so much faith in his daughter taking over Stark industries it's so sweet. Her and Cheryl are starting over because tally gave her some really good advice about being a female daughter getting ready to become a CEO.

Another letter from the 10 rings. Chuck is back. Jugheads surprise party. I forgot I put Cat's bibble addiction in here. The ones that watched Victorious will know what I'm talking about. I think Tally's birthday present is the best one he is received for a while. Cheryl wanted to know about the scars on her back during the game of secrets and she even it was like exposed herself basically she really didn't care though. To the Southside with Sweet Pea.

They really want to challenge Tally at call of duty. They're playing never have I ever. Toni knows about what happened.

Her mom was a serpent, and she went to the serpent's for help. Everyone is surprised that tally is a serpent by blood.

Her father told the truth. Jade scares Joaquin. That's cute, Sweet Pea thinks he can be tally in a game of pool.

She won. And sweet pea is confused why she is open about almost everything but her ex. They had sex. Tally is saying that they can't date because of everything that's going on and she doesn't want to put him in danger. Tally is in deep shit.

Tony and Tally had a big fight. Tony's kind of suspicious of tally right now because she's been acting off. Steve heard something about project intermission. Tally is terrified that Hydra is going to kidnap her.

They're still asking about project intermission. FP was just arrested for the murder of Jason blossom. They're holding an intervention for tally because they're worried about her. Malachi what are you doing there I don't remember this.

He regrets cheating on her. Malachi can read her like an open book. The blackmailed him into cheating. Tally just save Fred's life I forgot that's how she gets kidnapped. Alice Cooper is Thalia's godmother. She's dead. I wrote this and I'm about to cry. Someone stole the body. Project intermission.

Tony freaked out at the mention of the 10 rings. She's alive. The Avengers are finding out what happened with Nick St Clair.

Jade really just spilled everything to them I mean I would too if meant getting my best friend back but still. Tony went to go see Malachi. Malachi said he was more afraid of tally than he is of Tony. But he's still told him a lot.

Tally has powers. Thalia is so sarcastic I love her. Tally was able to send a message to them. By the time they got there the Hydra base was in flames and she was walking out of it. They forced her to go to the hospital where everyone was waiting. Tony tried to keep her in her in the hospital room but she was like no❤️.

The sexual tension between her and Sweet Pea tho. Interview by Sheriff Keller. Welcome home party. The Whyte Wyrm. Sweet Pea wants a slurpee. Toni accidentally ate a weed brownie.

Fangs has skittles in his jacket? FRIDAY you sassy AI. Movie night code red. Tangled vs The Conjuring. Nat has Thor in a choke hold. I always forget that Rapunzel's name translates to Lettuce. They all suggest movies and fight it out. First one is Sweet Pea vs Tally. I FORGOT I BROKE THE FOURTH WALL. Tally won. Tony is having a talk with Sweet Pea. Tally doesn't think Hydra is done. Imma be honest I don't remember most of this because the close it get to when I had my surgery the more fucked my memory became.

Reggie is calling her the walking dead. Swalia date. This is going to be adorable.

The memes tho. They ended up watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Things got heated then Tony texted tally. Her and her dad ended up working on the Impala when she got home. Tally told Reggie to fuck off. Her adoption papers came in so that she will legally be Pepper's kid. Archie's an idiot.

I love Pepper. Sweet Pea and Tally are officially dating. Jade and Kevin are freaking out. Her dad is freaking out not like Jade and Kevin. Cat is pissed at her brother. Bulldogs and Serpents showed up. Jade, Cat, Veronica and Tally stopped the fight. She headed to Sweet Pea's.

My fake insta posts were the best. Beck, Fangs and Sweet Pea just got arrested. Nick St Clair is coming to town. Mantle vandalized her locker. Apparently the same thing happened to her mom. She's not going to talk about Nick St Clair.

Tally telling Archie to keep an eye out for Nick St. Clair. Date night with Sweet Pea. He took he took her their hideout. She's contemplating filing a police report on Nick St Clair. They had sex in a treehouse.

Nick St. Clair is back. Veronica doesn't know shit. She finally told her dad. She going to report him. She told Veronica. Veronica confronted him at the party and now everyone at the party knows. She went to SVU. Then she went to MJ's.

They are going to arrest him at the open house. He has been arrested.

No more secrets? Holy shit. She now knows Alice Cooper is her God Mother. Really Tony? Why did you call her out in front of everyone? You could've just talked to her. He wants her to see a therapist. St Clair had a bail hearing. No bail. Southside High was raided. When he only like Sweet Pea because he's taller than Cap. Tally didn't realize it. Drag Race. Malachi vs Tally. Bucky is so chill about it.

(So Chapter 47. Is the where you guys find out that I am having surgery) Sweet Pea finds out about Malachi. Sweet Pea feels betrayed, angered. They're having a fight. Sweet Pea is afraid that because she kept this one secret EX from him the next thing you know she'll be cheating on him. Tally just told him I don't want anyone else. They said I love you. The drag race. Tally won fair and square but Malachi still thinks she cheated. Tony scheduled the appointment.

Apparently you can't teach Thor how to cook. Tally isn't allowed in Asgard. Tally just called Vision a toaster. And in response Tony said don't call your little brother a toaster.

Family dinner. Everyone is there. Sweet Pea just got there. Thalia is the moderator. Nick Fury scares him. They are grilling him. Mario Kart tournament. Cap won.

Sweet Pea sending her bad pick up lines. MJ approves. Jughead asked for a favor. FP is getting out of prison. Sweet Pea and Tally are talking about their future. (This is the last chapter I published before my surgery)

FP's retirement party. Tally inviting Sweet Pea to the Avenger's Christmas party and New Years Eve party and everyone else.

Her first appointment. Afterwards she went to the Wyrm. FP wants to talk to her. Tally has a spare key.

Social media special.

Trial of Nick St Clair. He lost. Southside High has been shut down. Jade's period is late. Jade is pregnant. Welcome to Riverdale High Southside Serpents. Mantle being a dick.

The uniforms. Message from Hydra, her mom is alive.

She's known. (Srry, this is when my short term memory was hell so I don't remember it.) Her mother is a hydra agent and was using Tony. She even talked to her when she was kidnapped. FP isn't happy that Ruby lied to them all.

Sweet pea trying to stand up for tally when Jughead was trying to use her Fame for peaceful protest now that's awesome but Tally's okay with this because it's a peaceful protest and something she agrees with and told him it's okay. They bugged his trailer. They have the tesseract from Odin's Vault testing against Tally's blood panel. It keeps calling her name.

Even though they told her not to tell sweet pea she did. Peaceful protest. The statue had no head the next day and tally woke up with a fever, despite the super soldier serum. And she has a fever. Bruce thinks it's because of the tesseract because they have similar energy they're fighting dominance. Next day she's feeling better, and is being questioned by the sheriff.

Foreshadowing much. She's realizing that she was born to her mother just become hydras soldier. Tally's idea is that well her mom's playing chess they have to play poker. Sunnyside is getting evicted.

Her mother is at the Wyrm. Hello Ruby Lodge. That was intense. Tally just thanked Pepper for being her mom. FP trust her.

Veronica's confirmation. Jughead and Betty found the head. Back at the Wyrm. Tall boy was the one who did it. Going to Lodge Lodge.

I think that's an accurate description of Cheryl. Jughead had to reassure them that everything was fine. The Jughead Veronica kiss. They get to stay in Sunnyside trailer park.

Hiram Lodge bought the Riverdale register. The break-in. They decide to go after tally instead of Veronica because you know she's a Stark. That was a mistake because they isolated her and her room and she was able to overpower one of them and take their shotgun away. She also paged her dad. Hiram Lodge owns pops. Ethel dumped a whole strawberry milkshake on Veronica. Reggie being a dick. Ruby Lodge broke into sweet peas trailer talk to him.

Ruby wants to make a deal. Basically what happened with Malachi where he cheated to protect his sister. Ruby said she wants to make sure her daughter is dead inside. Cheryl's missing. Sweet pea has been distant. Sweet Pea is drinking away sorrows. And he cheated to protect his little sister and his mom.

Jade slapped him. Tony is there. Fangs sent her a photo of Sweet Pea cheating. She's questioning everything. The Avengers want to kick his ass. She went to his trailer. Swalia is over until they get their shit together. Carrie The Musical.

She went to Malachi. She went there for help but they ended up sleeping together. They agreed to be one time thing. The plan started, Malachi would pick her up from the musical the opening night. Ruby stopped them, saying she would kill Malachi if she didn't go with her. into which Malachi admits that he still loves her. But she loves sweet pea. The tranqed her and she woke up in a chair. 5 months later she was in Sweden by herself safe and sound. What you saw an article about Archie Andrews being questioned for a murder. And she thought she might have evidence for it or could get it so she's going back to Riverdale. Then flashback 5 months ago Tony's point of view, Malachi showed up to the school after Midge was murdered. Tally is prime suspect right now. She killed a hydra agent. Then 5 months later. Tony is a pops when he sees his daughter walk in with blonde hair.

She got lectured from Steve about running off for 5 months. She wants to tent city. Her and Sweet Pea had a good to talk. Ruby Lodge.

She just wants to talk. Ancient Norse prophecy. Tony asked Thor and he gulped. There is a prophecy and Thor and Loki believe it to be about Tally. Odin agrees. In the final battle she dies. Thornhill.

Ghoulies. Malachi questioning Penny Peabody's motives and then putting the fear of Tally. Jughead wondering what that was about. The iCarly reference though. "If you ever do that again you're grounded for... Till college." "For till college?" "For till college!"

(So the reason I kind of stopped doing the Instagram post was because after my surgery I kind of just lost all creative initiative to do it.) The video tally turned in was ruled of questionable origin. Thalia Stark is under arrest. I don't remember this plot line. They don't have a very solid case. Matt Murdock, Tally's lawyer, wants to push the case to New York. Charges were dropped thanks to Nicholas fury. Archie pleaded guilty, Malachi is leaving. He wants to see her before he leaves. Tally told him he would hold a special place in her heart. Riverdale high, next day. They want to get Hiram Lodge arrested.

Sweet Pea and Tally are talking about what happened and Tally finally said what's been running through her head. Thalia is Jade's child's godmother. She told Jade about the prophecy.

Tony is acting weird at The mention of a game that hit Riverdale. Ghoulie hideout with Penny and Ruby. She scared the shit out of Penny Peabody. Veronica's grand opening. Tally is willing to let Sweet Pea try to earn her trust back. They kissed... No, they had sex. The manual.

Flashback episode. Secrets and sins. tally roasting her father. Ruby and Hiram arguing. The Ascension party. Tony basically explained everything to his daughter.

Sweet peas playing the game that Tony told her not to and she asked him not to. She said if you can please playing the game the deal is off so he said well done the deal is off and walked out. She's heartbroken. Archie prison fight club. Since tally is the closest thing they have to a trained doctor she is the one that's going to be at the bunker ready to patch Archie up. sweet peas apologizing. Starting Hiram lodges case.

Swedish Mafia. Sheriff Minetta grilling Tally. Casino night. Sweet pea and her hooked up again. Sweet Pea asked her on a date. After good advice my father she accepted it. When he came to pick her up Tony threatened him saying you already cheat on my daughter again I'm going to kill you which I think is Fair. After a good date he asked tally to be his girlfriend again. She said yes.

Cap wanting her to join RROTC. Not tally paying for Fangs mom's hospital bills. According to Pepper Starks are caffeine dependent insomniacs. Tally had cancer. Thor smashing a toaster. Cheryl the bitch.

Tally helping Sweet Pea study for SATs. Hiram got shot. Fangs is back in the Serpents. FP is Sheriff. Ruby Lodge. Half-sister Alicia von Strucker.

Sweet Pea is worried. Alicia meeting Sweet Pea. Jade's water broke. Thalia regrets not being there for Jade. She gabe her sister a nickname. Captain America Fitness Challenge. To the hospital to see her god child. Violet Thalia Oliver.

Alicia is 100 percent Ruby's daughter. Josie tried to ask sweet pea to go to her mom's wedding with her, Sweet Pea denied. Thalia defending her sister to the Avengers. The Pretty Poisons beat up Sweet Pea and Fangs. Tally rushed over to the Jones trailer where she had a run kn with Jughead's mom. She doesn't like Starks. Jughead now knows about her prophecy. Tally meet Jellybean and calls her an adorable human being. Jellybean fangirling. Jughead trusting Thalia with his life.

Jughead's mom being skeptical af. Tally didn't trust her. Chemistry Lab break in. Jughead asked her to help deal with it, as a favor. Kurtz just called her Malachi's ex-bitch. Sweet Pea is pissed but Tally's got it. After a little violence. She's going to go call Malachi. He gave some food advice. She made Jughead promise something. She caught Kurtz trying to kill Fangs. Jughead made her let him go. Sister bonding time.

Alicia's life story. The Gargoyle King sent her a message. Tally is keeping it a secret from Sweet Pea. FPs 50th.

HEATHERS PART 1. Call from Detective Benson, telling her Nick St. Clair is getting released because of 'overcrowding'. The Avengers are pissed, so is Sweet Pea. Tally is playing Veronica Sawyer. Alicia came to see her sister at rehearsal and brought her a red bull. Party. Okay, I'll admit that was a bad pun. Big Fun. She was tipsy for a second because of Asgardian beer. She steps outside, Ruby is there. She threw up on her biological mother's shoes. Tbh I tried to put more references to the musical in here. Dead girl walking. Practice next day. Everyone finding Nick St. Clair got released and them being pissed. Cheryl wants to castrate him, Reggie agrees. Que Nick St. Douchebag's entrance.

HEATHERS PART 2. When I published part 2, Chadwick Boseman passed away. Rest in Power. Sweet Pea and Archie holding her back but everyone who know exactly what happened was ready to beat his face in. Nick called Tally a ticking time bomb. He mentioned the prophecy. Tally threatening him. Tally has some explaining to do. Her going to Sheriff Jones to get a restraining order. Tally shading Steve. Seventeen. Dr Stephen Strange saved her life. Alicia texted her to meet her. She gonna blow up the school. Alicia cuffed her in vibranium cuffs, she called Shuri. Dead Girl Walking Reprise (What a bop tho) Kevin met her at the door she told him to evacuate the building as silently as possible. Boiler room. The fight for the gun. Alicia was dead. She was able to deactivate the bomb. She went outside where everyone was waiting and trying to calm Sweet Pea and Tony down. Then she saw Ruby and saw red. FRIDAY record the convo. Tally just said it's over amd told her mom to fuck off. Ruby is pissed because it's not her ending. Tally just walked away and kept walking. I'mma be honest these are my favorite chapters.

Since the funeral, tally isolated herself in a depression. Now she has a text from an unknown person to meet her at Sweetwater River. Chic. Malachi came to see her. They had a good talk, he made her realize some things.

Cheryl preaching the farm agenda to tally who's just trying to grieve her sister. So she gives Cheryl a verbal SmackDown. Toni being pissed about it. Tally doesn't want to go to prom, so instead she wants to take sweet pea on a date in New York. Betty's dad's prison bus exploding. Veronica being confused on why they would miss prom. I'm telling explains it she's like well I know when that used to be your preferred choice of setting. He's asking him to move on after the prophecy is complete and she's dead.

Veronica's Pop deed is fake. Veronica wants Tally to fight her father. Tally is unsure about it, she could kill her dad with a single punch. Toby agrees the best bet us Tally. Archie taking the ring with Hiram, could possibly get Archie killed. Fight night. He broke her nose. Tally did more damage to him of course. Hiram Lodge has been arrested. When her family and sweet pea find out that she was the reason Hiram Lodge got arrested in the first place. They were starting to get ready to go into business together and tell you didn't want Lodge industries to fuck over Stark industries. When she figured out moves from Avatar to last Airbender and legend of Korra. Her mom escaped from prison.

Avengers discussing protection for tally. Package for tally. Thalia Stank. It was from the gargoyle King but she played it off in front of the Avengers and just left. To go to the hunting cabin of the blossoms. Her mom is there. Time for the final quest. The first one is for Archie the grizzled beast. I love tally. Because when Archie says oh crap, she says I think you're allowed to say fuck in this situation. Archie wins though. Tally had to play Russian roulette to get her in with the swedish Mafia. The next task is for Veronica. All the chalices were poisoned so Betty and Veronica are both poisoned.

Tally's turn. The assassin card. Battle of Blood. Biological mother vs daughter. Thalia killed her biological mother. Jughead's turn. He had won. And finally Betty's turn. She shut off her dad's fingers. After Penelope give the order to kill them all Thalia made a giant barrier with her powers. The farm ascended, leaving Kevin behind. The Avengers were shocked about what happened.

Filler chapter. Therapist appointment. Pop's with her dad. Tally remembering. Sweet Pea checking on her. Sweet Pea wants to run away with her, maybe run away from all of it but tally knows she can't. Then the next week tally knew the prophecy would be complete.

The beginning of infinity war. Dr strange. Wong knows about the prophecy while doctor strange doesn't. Tony just trying to protect his daughter. Tally got knocked unconscious. Bruce woke her up, Tony and Peter Parker are in space trying to save Doctor strange and keep the time Stone out of thanos's hands. At the compound talking about what to do. Tally knows someone.

Tally dreaming of the infinity Stones and seeing Thanos. Shuri. Things have entered the atmosphere. Tally's iron daughter suit. The fight has begun. Cap saying fuck. Thanos is coming for vision. Telling us what's happening to the stones right now. She bloodbended Thanos but the Avengers couldn't get to Thanos quick enough to get the glove off so he snapped. They lost. Tally is gone and so is half of the universe.

Nat is regretting not getting to Thanos quick enough to get to the glove off of him while tally bloodbended him. Tony found out that she's able to bloodbend. Tony passing out. Going to go kill Thanos. Nat and Thor explaining Thalia to Rocket. Thor went for the head.

5 YEARS LATER. Natasha's point of view. Meeting, Barton murdering people, Steve stopping by. She's remembering tally, reminiscing with Steve. Scott Lang. Quantum realm. Tony's point of view. Morgan Stark. Them telling the plan to Tony. Him thinking it's risky. Tony is salty about the fact that if they were close enough when tally bloodbended than Thanos they could have been done they could have won but they lost. Scott's trying to play with his heartstrings, mentioning tally, his first born daughter.

Bruce banner/hulk talking about the time travel thing . Tony's POV. While washing dishes he looks at a photo thinking of his daughter, tally. He decided he has to do it to see her again. He figured out time travel. Pepper finding out you figured out time travel. He's going to do it. Natasha's POV next morning. Scott time traveling going wrong. Steve POV. Walking outside seeing car pull up. Cap getting his shield back. But there's something Tony has to do before he gets to work.

He went to go see Malachi. He want to let Malachi know that there was hope. Malachi gave him a flash drive of Tally's research guy she entrusted him with five years ago. Clint testing the time travel machine worked. When Tony opened the flash drive he realized that a lot of it was mapped out for him already. Tally made a video titled if we lost. Time travel time. New York 2012. Time Stone.

Tony's POV, then Steve's POV. Not Steve saying hail Hydra. Tony's POV. Scott giving 2012 Tony a heart attack. Tesseract sliding to Loki. Steve POV. "That is America's ass" I think that's all I have to say for that part. Bruce's POV. Him telling her that Strange gave it away. She gave him the time stone. Tony POV. Deciding to go to New Jersey.

1970. Tony's point of view. Tony seeing his dad and getting the tesseract. Steve's point of view. Getting Hank Pym to run down the hallway. Tony's POV. Talking to his dad. Avengers compound. Natasha was gone. Grieving Natasha. Making the gauntlet, Thor going to stop his fingers then stop him Bruce snapping his fingers. It worked. Then disaster struck a missiles blew away the Avengers compound. Thanos sat waiting for the Avengers. Thanos vs Steve, Thor and Tony. Tony getting knocked out. Steve POV. Picks up Thor's hammer. Everyone is back. Tally is back.

Tally POV. Tally and Tony reuniting. Female team up without Nat. Tally took the stones before he could snap."You are so fucked." She turned to dust. Tony's POV. She started glowing. He grieved. Sweet Pea is at Stark Tower. He found out she sacrificed herself. The funeral. Tally is alive.

The scene with death. When Tally woke up she didn't remember anything. Everyone is shocked. Wanda jogged her memory. She explained everything. She met Morgan.

Graduation. Tally's POV. She was the valedictorian. She's going to MIT. Sweet Pea proposed. When she graduated, taking on Stark industries, she made sure it was clear the weapons will never be apart of Stark Industries again. When Sweet Pea and Tally got married she found out she was pregnant. Sweet Pea's name is this is Nathan Mantle. In the end they had 3 kids. Nick St. Clair got killed by the Swedish Mafia. She is the Iron Daughter.

Overall, I'm going to admit I don't remember writing half of this story because of my brain surgery and I was working on it during this. I love this story, it is my first time reading it all at once but I am partial to it because I worked on it for almost a full year and is the first Riverdale x Avengers crossover fic on wattpad. There is somethings I was contemplating, like who she was going to end up with, if she was going to die in the first snap or not. I was also going to do a part where she goes into hiding with Harley from Iron Man 3 and works as a waitress in a little diner as a cover, saying she's Harley's cousin, wearing a wig and contacts but I felt that'd make the story too long. But there are a few things I'm iffy about so 9/10.

#Avenging Riverdale #riverdale x avengers #wattpad #wildflower fanfiction #wildflower stories #steve rogers #tony stark #sweet pea riverdale #sweet pea x oc #veronica lodge #pepperpotts #Avengers #riverdale

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greatfay · 4 years ago

Note

what kind of bad fandoms you in?

Off the top of my head? Like most of them lol. But for the things I’m currently watching/reading?

HxH. The good parts of the fandom just post fanart and memes, the bad parts post essays on reddit about how “the Chimera Ant Arc is the greatest arc in all of shounen and if you don’t think so then there’s just too much depth for you to fully comprehend, also I’m going to ignore the montage during that arc that demonstrated how capitalist greed, political corruption, police brutality, nuclear warfare, economic inequality, and propaganda demonstrate humanity’s true evil because Hurr Durr Ants Have Feelings and also I’m going to misgender all of the GNC characters introduced this arc did I mention I’m so smart?” that and the Ging apologists who think he’s this chess-master role model father sends me. If I hear someone say the word “subversive” one more time... and why is there so much cisnormative homophobic BS in this fandom? Even when I encounter the good part, I’ll see comments added on attacking the OP or saying shady shit, like what’s going on.

Berserk. I can’t with all the Donavon jokes and potato Casca jokes and, much like with the HxH fandom’s dark side, there’s a very pretentious self-important lot who love to hype out how “layered and dark and subversive” the manga is to inflate their own importance for being Manga Connoisseurs that read it and then they go on to make more child r*pe jokes and also defend every creative decision Miura makes. Like... I’m not “unable to fully appreciate and understand the tone and message that the Genius Miura is trying to invoke,” I quite understand, I’m just not a pervert fuckface who gets off on r*pe scenes. And I’m not alone, but since there are like maybe 10 other dudes in this fandom without brain rot and it’s a Hostile Fandom Space for women, and also queer dudes, and also people of color, it’s hard to get a good consensus.

AOT. There are people who have written the series off due to the author’s Imperialist Japan viewpoint and latched on to the conspiracy that he’s a holocaust denier and vilified Jewish stand-ins in his work; these people have, strangely enough, remained in the fandom to then remind everyone of this and repeatedly share that polygon article that has so much reaching you’d think Reed Richards had written it. The author of AOT is a brainwashed nationalist idiot, and it just so happens that he, whether he realizes it or not, has written his main cast (the heroes, the protagonists) to be analogues of the real-world Jewish people (specifically Ashkenazi Jews) combatting oppression and the deliberate annihilation of their people. I don’t think he did this on purpose, especially if he is indeed anti-Semitic, but that’s how it turned out, and stranger still is how he’s explored over the course of (idk the arcs I’m going by the anime) 2+ seasons how the State can lie and manipulate its people to increase nationalism and military power—the opposite of what some have claimed his manga is about (promoting imperialism and glorifying isolationist views and making the military and police seem cool). Despite writing this kind of story, he seems unable to question his own political views in the real world. Which isn’t my problem. Still, it’s complicated, we don’t have full answers, all we have is a very well-paced, well-written, mature manga with great plot twists and a masterclass of suspense and mystery, and now even reblogging an AOT gif can get you blacklisted.

Kingdom Hearts. This fandom is 90% chill people who want to cry and love it, they hear the first two notes of Dearly Beloved and already they’re like “fuck... emotions... I haven’t felt these in eons” and for that they’re valid. Great fanart, everything gif’d to hell and back (when I tell you for 15 years this fandom gif’d every possible frame out of just 12 collective minutes of the Good Graphics during the beginning and ending cinematic scenes). The bad part of the fandom is annoyingly homophobic and use shipper strawmen to spout out bigoted nonsense, and there’s another part of the fandom consisting of (some, not all) speed-runners who think the games should be designed with their play style in mind, fuck everyone else. I only encounter this bad 10% when watching Let’s Plays; even the Kingdom Hearts subreddit is a nice place and gets gay af sometimes, and everyone rolls with it.

Star Wars. The most recent SW stuff has not been consistently... good, but I enjoy Star Wars just for the feel of Star Wars. There are people who hate everything SW that’s come out recently and make their voices known but are still IN THE FANDOM. They’re still here, hating EVERYTHING. It’s just so disruptive to the normal fun fandom stuff because they’re everywhere, like if you’re not having fun you can leave. Go rant about the Wimminfolk and Blacks are Ruining Everything and whatever violent, disgusting thing you want to do to Kathleen Kennedy that definitely is an isolated feeling and not at all how you feel about women in general. Like parts of the SW fandom is the opposite of Berserk and HxH; with those, I’ve been critical of things while still enjoying the media, but any critical statement gets nitpicked and the vultures come. SW? It’s the overly hypercritical “ess jay dubba u” shit that drives me up the wall. Every flaw in the new SW stuff can be pointed to screenplay issues and contradictions but, gee, it must be cuz a Wimmin is in it. Fucking whatever.

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chroniclackofselfpreservation · 4 years ago

Text

Creatures of the Night

Chapter 35 - hundreds of hot air balloons filling the sky in my chest

Back to the Beginning < Previous chapter / Next chapter >

AO3

Masterlist

(TW: dissociation, mild panic attacks, crying, scars, implied branding, non-sexual nudity (bathing), mentions of surgery, past character death, mentions of public shootings and suicide)

(The title of the chapter comes from "burial" by Ross Gay, and the poem Logan recites is "When you, that at this moment are to me" by Edna St. Vincent Millay.)

Daveigh only ended up lecturing Patton for a few minutes once he’d sufficiently recovered from the ordeal last night. He wasn’t exactly in the best condition to pay attention. It had taken an hour or two after waking up for him to even form coherent thoughts, let alone speak again. It was as if his brain had done a hard shut off and subsequently had to reconnect itself back together.

Logan scarcely left Patton’s side for more than a few seconds. Patton knew he did it out of worry and genuinely caring about him, but he couldn’t help feeling like an invalid. He felt fine, considering. Sure, he was perpetually lightheaded and looking around too quickly sent the world spinning, but he figured it could be much worse.

At the moment, he sat before the fire next to Logan, in the slow process of eating breakfast.

A group of four ants wandered around the dirt at his feet, crowding around a stray drop of sugary juice from the mango Logan had tried to get him to eat. He just couldn’t manage to stay focused. Patton had never been the biggest fan of the fruit, but they were starting to grow on him. Ha. Grow on him. He held the uneaten half of his breakfast in his hand, mesmerized by the slow stream of sugary nectar oozing from the fruit and dripping from his knuckles onto the dirt.

“Patton?” Logan said, touching his shoulder.

Patton hummed acknowledgement, taking a bit longer than normal to turn and meet his eye.

Logan chewed his cheek, searching Patton’s face. “It’s not getting any better?”

He smiled, blinking to clear the residual dizziness. “What? Sorry, Lo, did you say something?” Logan’s expression only worsened. Patton looked down again and tugged at the sleeves of his cardigan, pulling them over his hands. The thing was falling apart at the seams, the fabric more brown than gray from the dirt and mud, and soon it’d be riddled with holes. Patton didn’t really mind the fogginess in his head. If it was the price he had to pay for contacting Roman and Virgil, he’d pay it ten times over, but what Patton didn’t account for was Logan getting gray hairs over it.

“Can you at least finish your breakfast?” Logan asked, tapping his arm. “Eat these tree nuts, you need protein.”

Patton stared at the ground, the sunlight on his back steadily creeping toward uncomfortably warm. He thought about the Wakeby house. All the cleaning he wished he could do to pass the time instead of sitting here, sweaty and itchy. He didn’t like it here on the island. He wanted his friends back. Patton spent so much time and effort crafting himself the perfect life, forcing himself to forget every bad thing that had happened to him. Patton just wanted his friends back. That couldn’t be too much to ask, right? After all he’d been through already?

“Patton? Patton, hey, look at me. Breathe,” Logan said, suddenly crouching in front of him. He cupped Patton’s face with both hands, face a mask of worry.

He was tired of the heat, and the bugs, and the dirt, and he wanted his friends back. He missed them so much it hurt, and didn’t even know if they were alive.

“It was empty,” he gasped, his head beginning to pound. “The house… they weren’t—”

“Patton, can you hear me?”

He’d never freaked out like this before. Usually, it was all nightmares, and flashbacks, and screaming himself awake in the middle of the night. Now, he felt empty. His fear was far away. The body clenching its jaw, unable to breathe, wasn’t him.

You seem to be taking our new situation well.

No, I just haven’t dealt with it yet. I’m not really thinking about it.

Logan was cradling him now. Daveigh stood at his feet, watching him with what, in his current state, Patton could only interpret as pity. He hated being like this. Helpless. He was supposed to be some long-prophesied oracle, and yet all he seemed good at was having panic attacks and giving bad news.

“When you, that at this moment are to me dearer than words on paper, shall depart and be no more the warder of my heart,” Logan recited, rocking him gently, “whereof again myself shall hold the key…”

Patton wanted to focus on the words, but the ordeal last night had left his willpower in shambles. He tried to tap into that same side of him that had helped him project last night, that darker, protective, stronger side of himself. It seemed so far away.

“And be no more—what now you seem to be—the sun, from which all excellences start in a round nimbus, nor a broken dark of moonlight, even, splintered on the sea,” Logan continued, his voice beginning to waver. Patton stared up at his face as it teared up, and something warm sputtered to life inside his chest. “I shall remember only of this hour—and weep somewhat, as now you see me weep—the pathos of your love…”

Patton looked at Logan and seemed to see, really see him for the first time. The spark inside him grew, of overwhelming gratitude for kindness he didn’t deserve, of love. He began to return to his body, regaining control of his faculties. His breathing reduced from gasping to shaky exhales.

“That, like a flower, fearful of death yet amorous of sleep, droops for a moment and beholds, dismayed, the wind whereon its petals shall be laid,” Logan finished, a single tear dribbling off his nose and onto Patton’s face.

“Hey,” Patton said, lifting a trembling hand and cradling Logan’s face. “Don’t cry, Lo.”

“Sorry,” he laughed, sniffing and wiping his tears from both their faces. “I am simply glad you’re doing better. That is all.”

“Eudora dropped this off earlier,” Daveigh said, tossing a bundle of whitish fabric at Logan. He caught it with one hand. “Take him for a walk. It’ll help ground him. Try the springs—you both could use a bath.”

“She’s right,” Patton chuckled. “We stink.”

Logan smiled down at him. “Agreed.

* * * * * * * * * *

Logan held onto Patton the entire way to the springs, despite his assurances that he was feeling much better. He held the finished skirts in one hand, Patton’s hand in the other. Logan had never been to the springs before, though Mikhail had given him adequate directions to find the location on his own, and there was a footpath worn into the dirt besides.

“I didn’t know Eudora could make clothing,” Patton remarked, glancing down at the two lengths of fabric he held.

“Indeed,” Logan said. “She has a very impressive loom inside that cave of hers. We could visit it sometime, if you want.”

Patton smiled. “I’d like that.”

Rounding a bend in the trail, the springs at last came into view. A deep, clear pool perhaps thirty feet in diameter sat nestled beneath a rocky outcropping, off of which streamed a moderate waterfall. Mikhail had mentioned the existence of two pools, the upper for their drinking water, the lower for bathing.

“Oh, it’s pretty here,” Patton said, letting go of Logan’s hand and trotting up to the water. He dipped his fingers in. “It isn’t too cold.”

Logan swallowed. “What would make you the most comfortable, Patton?”

“What?”

“Regarding bathing,” Logan said, fighting the embarrassed flush creeping up his neck.

Patton’s eyes went wide for a moment, and he let out a nervous chuckle. “Oh, right. I forgot.”

“I will certainly turn my back,” Logan amended quickly, holding out Patton’s skirt to him. “But considering the repercussions of last night, I’d prefer to be within earshot… just in case.”

Patton took the fabric from him, unfolding it and holding it up. “How do I wear it?”

“Oh! Yes, Daveigh showed me,” Logan said, grabbing his own skirt and modeling over his clothing how to wrap it around his hips and tie the corners together and fold them under, creating a sort of waistband. “See?”

Patton watched carefully, nodding as he copied Logan’s movements. “Okay. I think I got it.”

“Right,” Logan said, hating how awkward he sounded. “I’ll just, um, sit over here,” he said, making his way to a large boulder and sitting down with his back to the spring. Birds sang from the canopies and the occasional dragonfly whizzed past on its way to find some lunch hanging around the freshwater, but Logan couldn’t help but squirm amid a heavy, tense silence. He heard Patton begin undressing and distracted himself with the first thing that came into his mind.

“Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, neon, sodium, magnesium—” he sang softly, resting his elbows on his knees and chin in his hands. “Aluminum, silicon, phosphorus, sulfur, chlorine, argon—”

“Are you singing?” Patton asked.

Logan paused for a moment, hearing Patton wade into the pool. “… Does it bother you?”

“Oh, no, not at all,” he said, and Logan could practically hear his smile. “What song was it?”

Logan cleared his throat. “It was the periodic table of elements in order, actually.”

“I love you, Logan,” Patton laughed, water sloshing as he scrubbed himself clean.

Logan’s heart skipped a beat, and he nearly choked, immediately glad that he wasn’t facing Patton—though he figured one could see his blush from the International Space Station. It was a joke. He was laughing. He didn’t mean it, because Logan had seen his face when Virgil kissed him—as if Virgil had plucked the moon out of the sky and gifted it to him. Shared trauma bonded people. That’s all this was. Logan wouldn’t take advantage of that.

Patton took a breath, and Logan heard him duck beneath the surface.

Logan’s knee began to bounce and he pressed his fist to his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut. “Three-point-one, four, one, five, nine, two, six, five, three, five, nine—” he muttered under his breath, willing himself to think of anything else.

Patton resurfaced with a gasp, letting out a sound of relief. Logan continued listing off the digits of pi in his head, attempting to compose himself.

“I’ve been seriously underestimating the power of a bath,” Patton snorted. “I feel much better, now.” Water splashed as Patton made his way out of the spring. Fabric rustled for a moment. “All right, you can turn around, Lo.”

Logan took a steadying breath and stood, turning with an amicable smile on his—

He stopped.

Patton was covered in scars. His old clothes sat in a crumpled pile off to the side, and it wasn’t until that moment that Logan realized that he’d never seen Patton without his cardigan or some kind of jacket covering his arms, let alone his entire bare chest.

Most were faded, barely visible on their own, but there were so many crisscrossing his forearms they were hard to miss. There was a thick, knotted scar running from his navel to the top of his left hip, disappearing under the waistband of his skirt. Several more, that looked an awful lot like old stab wounds, pocked his abdomen and shoulders.

“You know,” Patton said, twisting and turning to get a good look at himself, “I wasn’t completely sold on the whole skirt idea, but now that I’m wearing it, I love it.”

Logan felt all the blood drain from his face. Patton’s back wasn’t much better, and under his arm, across his ribs, were four long, angry burns arranged in a type of rugged letter R. Like he’d been branded. Crudely, too.

“I’ll sit over here so you can…” Patton’s voice died in his throat as he met Logan’s eyes. He looked confused for only a moment, before glancing down at his bare chest. He pressed his lips together, swallowing. “Right.”

Logan blinked, immediately looking away. “I—I apologize for staring.”

“No, I understand. It’s, uh, pretty surprising, I bet,” he said a little breathlessly, running a hand through his wet hair. “I guess you understand why I opted out of that swimming field trip in ninth grade, now, huh?”

Logan glanced back at him. He looked… different. Obviously the outfit and the scars were new, but there was something else. It was something in the way he was holding himself. Something in the eyes.

I guess I’m just feeling a bit more myself these days.

Logan felt as if he were seeing Patton—in his entirety—for the first time.

“Did you mean it?” he blurted before he could think better of it, his heart crawling its way up into his throat.

Patton’s brow knit in confusion.

“Earlier,” Logan continued, sounding just this side of hysterical, “when you said you loved me. You—you were joking. Right? You didn’t mean it.”

Patton chewed on his top lip, a look of nervousness passing over him briefly only to be replaced by a sort of determination. “Yeah, Lo. I meant it.”

Logan let out a breath that might have been the beginnings of a sob or a laugh of complete bewilderment. “I… I thought you and, um, Virgil were… with that kiss and everything. You looked pretty in love back then, so it—I just figured—”

“Oh, I am,” Patton said with a smile, and Logan couldn’t decide if he was supposed to feel relieved or devastated.

“What?”

Patton clasped his hands behind his back, fighting a blush. “I am in love with Virgil,” he said slowly, “and Roman, and you. All three.”

“All three,” Logan echoed. He hadn’t considered that as an option. Frankly, he hadn’t give his feelings for any of them much thought out of fear he’d have to eventually choose one over the others.

“Do they know?” he croaked, feeling foolish. Was he the last to know? Had he been oblivious this entire time?

A touch of trepidation finally creeped into Patton’s voice. “No. You’re the first I’ve told. I don’t know how they—how any of you feel about it—and you don’t have to tell me!” he added hastily, holding out his hands. “I told you because I wanted to, not to force you to say it back, or anything.”

Logan stared at him, trying to process what he was hearing. Patton loved him. He also loved Roman and Virgil.

And Logan… didn’t know. He cared about them, of course. They were his best friends—more than that, they felt like his family. Love felt big, and unquantifiable, and nebulous—something he’d seen but wasn’t sure he’d experienced at least in the romantic sense of the word.

“I… um,” he started, “I would like some time to process and, er, organize my own feelings toward the—the subject, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Of course, Logan! Take as much time as you need,” Patton said, then jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “I’ll head back to camp and let you finish washing up, and I’ll respect any decision you come to. I just… wanted you to know how I felt.” If Logan hadn’t known him since he was fourteen, he wouldn’t have noticed the carefully hidden longing in Patton’s face before he gathered up his old clothes and disappeared down the trail.

Logan stood there for a long moment before finally shaking his head clear of the stupor and swiftly pulling his clothes off. They were quite dirty now that he looked at them in a pile on the ground. It was strange, though, how nostalgic he suddenly felt for a random pair of clothes. There wasn’t anything special about them. He had several similar pairs back home.

Ah. That was it. Home.

Logan stepped into the cool water, shivering, and waded out until he was chest-deep. The bath felt strangely metaphorical—leaving their old clothes behind, donning Eudora’s hand-crafted garments and becoming a part of the island rather than the foreign objects they’d been until now.

If—no, when they finally got off the island, Logna supposed there would always be a piece of the place in him. It was shaping him.

Everything, it seemed, was changing.

Including his relationship with his friends. Regardless of his conclusion about Patton’s declaration, things wouldn’t be the same.

Logan lowered into the water until the surface lapped just below his nose, blowing agitated bubbles from his mouth. Patton had made it look so easy. Patton obviously loved them, Logan had no disputes in that regard, and he was understandably in favor of a certain outcome. It was to be expected, though, wasn’t it? Of course Patton wanted them to love him back—and yet he’d set it aside to allow Logan space to make his own decision. It would be disrespectful of Patton’s efforts to come to a faulty conclusion simply to cater to his desires.

No, Logan was going to do this right.

The biggest example of romantic love he’d had were his parents. What he wouldn’t give to pick his father’s brain on the subject. He’d always connected intellectually with his father, rather than his dad, simply by way of them both seeing the world through a primarily logical lens. Feelings, Logan had come to find, were anything but.

His father had died first. A malfunction during what should have been a simple surgery when Logan was sixteen. After that, he couldn’t even stand to be in his dad’s clinic for very long. If he hadn’t had Patton, Roman, and Virgil as friends, he probably would have spent the rest of his highschool career depressed in an empty house. His dad hadn’t died until around four years later, two weeks before Logan’s twenty-first birthday, and three days before he was set to graduate with his bachelors. Someone broke into the clinic looking for drugs. His dad had taken a bullet for a child. The shooter took his own life before authorities could even arrive.

His coworkers at Wakeby Elementary often asked him why he decided to stay after getting a degree, after they buried everything tying him to the small town six feet underground. What they didn’t know was Logan had latched onto the only family he had left. Roman, Virgil, and Patton. He sold his parents’ house, which he’d inherited, and bought the one they lived in now.

He knew his parents had loved one another—that wasn’t a question—but Dad had shut off a bit after Father died, and Logan hadn’t exactly been keen on bringing their relationship up, let alone asking for love advice. Really, Patton was the only one of them with a reliable parental figure out of the four of them. Perhaps that was why he seemed to have such a solid grasp on his feelings.

Yes, they felt like Logan’s family, but he wasn’t certain he felt entirely platonic toward them. He remembered how he’d felt when seeing Virgil kiss Patton. Shocked, yes, but not put out or disappointed. If anything, he felt guilty for having feelings for either of them since he’d assumed they exclusively loved each other.

Logan took a breath and plunged completely under the water, scrubbing his hair free of sweat and dirt.

What even were romantic feelings? What qualified as romantic? Simply not platonic? Everything he’d grown up seeing on television or reading in books was, for lack of a better term… mushy. Logan wasn’t one to fawn and coo over someone, to hang on their every word, or constantly drape himself over them. He wasn’t averse to affection, but… what if he wasn’t doing it right? What if Patton’s idea of being in a romantic relationship was different, and Logan only ended up disappointing him?

Lungs beginning to burn, Logan resurfaced with a gasp, pushing his hair up off his forehead. Feeling sufficiently cleaned, he began wading out.

Logan thought back to last night, when Patton had curled up in his arms. He’d certainly enjoyed that. Placing Roman or Virgil in the same figurative situation produced similar results. Not identical, but close enough to be categorized together.

He picked Eudora’s skirt—or, his skirt, rather—up off the rock he’d set it on and secured it around his waist. The fabric was surprisingly soft and fit perfectly. Logan took a breath, the humid jungle breeze cooling the water across his bare chest and legs. It would be an adjustment, of course, but he was slowly becoming more sure that he’d be able to get through it just fine.

Feeling somewhat more resolute in his decision, Logan started back toward camp.

* * * * * * * * * *

Logan was rarely at a loss for words, and yet standing at the outer edge of camp, confronted with Daveigh, who looked incredibly smug, and Patton, who couldn’t help but look Logan up and down in his new attire, everything he’d planned to say on the way down from the springs vanished from his mind. Mikhail approached from where he sat around the smoldering firepit, holding out a pair of sandals. Logan took them, only absently inspecting them. They looked to be made of several layers of barkpaper, or something similar—certainly not leather. Rough twine served as straps to tie around his ankles. Glancing around, he noticed all three of them, including Patton, wore the shoes.

“Thank you,” Logan managed, finding his voice.

“You’ll need to break them in,” he said, loud enough that Patton and Daveigh could hear, “both of you.” Mikhail gave him a knowing wink before turning back to the fire, and Logan fought the embarrassed flush creeping up his neck. Patton looked only slightly more composed.

“Yes!” Daveigh crowed in agreement, nudging Patton with an elbow. He swatted her away. “I hear the beach is wonderful this time of year.”

Logan opened his mouth to point out that the weather was fairly consistent in this region of the Pacific, when Patton rolled his eyes with amusement and jerked his head north, toward the softer, sandier beaches. Before he could make an even bigger fool of himself, Logan acquiesced, swiftly following Patton into the foliage.

The beach wasn’t far, and when the tree line broke Logan stopped to tie on his new shoes.

“I think Mikhail was fibbing a bit about having to break in the shoes,” Patton chuckled, Logan leaning precariously against a palm tree.

“While I agree he probably had ulterior motives,” Logan said, moving on to the other foot, “I’m not fond of wandering around barefoot.” When he was finished, he stood up, walking in a circle to test them out. The twine was rough and would likely irritate the skin on his ankles, but it was better than scalding the soles of his feet on hot sand.

Patton clasped his hands behind his back and started out across the beach, Logan striding after him. The sun felt pleasantly warm against his bare skin, the ocean breeze tousling their hair.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Patton asked, coming to a stop just beyond the reach of the tide.

“I expect we’ll become well acquainted with sunburns from now on,” he said and Patton laughed. “Though,” he continued, “that is not all I wish to speak to you about.”

Patton hummed, and Logan couldn’t tell if it was a happy noise or a sad, resigned one.

He took a breath, and turned to face Patton as if about to defend his thesis to a committee. “I do not believe a simple declaration of love would properly convey the feelings I have for you, Patton. Do not be distressed, as I, too, would like to engage in a relationship with you, and Roman, and Virgil, however, I’d like to clarify how exactly I feel about you and the others, as to avoid any unnecessary miscommunication in the future.”

“Yeah,” Patton said, covering his mouth with a hand in a vain attempt to hold back what could either be tears or laughter—probably both. “Sorry.” He cleared his throat, composing himself. “Continue,” Patton said, smiling wider than Logan had ever seen.

Logan swallowed. “Right. Well, the main concern I have is the likelihood of our definitions for what constitutes romantic attraction or gestures differing, and I don’t want to, um,” he stalled a bit on the word, “disappoint you, in any way, or r get your hopes up if you think I will be comparable to someone as… grandiose as Roman tends to be.”

Patton’s smile fell away and held up his hands. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up, Logan. Let me make sure I’m getting this right. You think I—someone who has known you for several years and has literally confessed feelings for you—would be disappointed with who you are? Lo, I wouldn’t have said I loved you if I didn’t mean all of you. Exactly the way you are now.” A ghost of apprehension flitted across Patton’s features and his left hand tucked under his right arm, fingertips resting atop the red R seared into his skin. “I know there’s a lot about me you don’t know, so I understand if you don’t feel like you can—”

“I love you, Patton,” Logan said, grabbing Patton’s scarred, calloused hands in his own. “I would not wish you to change for anyone, especially me. I see now that expecting the same from myself would be foolish. I am willing to love you as you are, if you can love me as I am.”

Patton’s eyes went wide and he gripped Logan’s hands back. “Yes! Yes, of course I will!” he laughed, tipping his head back to smile at the sun.

And after all that, Logan couldn’t really fault himself for cradling Patton’s jaw with both hands and kissing him—just as one couldn’t fault Patton for giggling into Logan’s mouth and kissing him back.

#tw dissociation #tw panic attack #tw scars #tw branding #tw nudity #tw surgery #tw past character death #tw past trauma #tw mention of guns #tw shooting #tw guns #tw suicide #tw death #COTN

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britishassistant · 4 years ago

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But I Like One Piece (11)

The scar on her lip is kind of a pain.

It feels strange for one thing, tough and bumpy, making her aware of its presence every time her mouth shifts or when she gets too excited while talking or when she yawns too widely.

Of course, once she’s reminded that it’s there, she want to fiddle with it. But for some reason whenever she gets bored enough to do so, Naruto or Sakura or whoever’s sitting closest to her will grab her arm and say “No.” in a Very Stern Voice.

It almost feels a little demeaning. Not quite, but almost.

What is demeaning is Uchiha glaring at her, and demanding, “Are you some kind of coward?”

She blinks, thermos of miso halfway to her mouth. “Beg your pardon?”

He eyes her disdainfully. “We’re going to be ninja. We fight to kill our enemies—”

“I’m going to be a pirate, actually.” She interrupts.

Naruto snorts softly into his rice.

“—Pirates kill people too, shut up.” Uchiha hisses.

“Wait. Is this about the biting thing?” She asks, incredulous. Surely not. Uchiha is a clan kid. He should know how this works—

Uchiha sniffs imperiously. “You’ll just drag me down if you always need Sakura to save you from a fight.”

Apparently not.

Robin give her strength.

“Hey!” Kiba yells. “Sakura beating up Ami was totally badass. Mizuki-sensei shoulda given her a medal instead of detention!”

Sakura goes as pink as her hair as Akamaru yips in agreement, mumbling something about it not being a big deal around her second stick of dango. She does return the fist bump Kiba offers though.

“That’s not the point.” Uchiha retorts dismissively. “The point is we’re going to fight and kill as ninja— don’t.” He stabs an accusing finger in her direction and she raises her hands in mock surrender. “And Ketsugi never fights back. She says stuff, but then she runs away, or lets other people take care of it, or hurts herself. It’s weak, stupid cowardice.”

The last word is said with such vehemence that it’s hard for her not to flinch.

“Well, it’s not like I have any choice.” She snaps, irritably.

Uchiha scoffs. “What are you talking about?! The only thing stopping you is your own stupid, cowardly ideas about pacifism!!”

She blinks, trying to process that last bit. “What? What on earth are you on about?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know!” He screams, all but jumping out of his seat, “It’s just like him! I’m not watching another one—not when I can stop it!!”

Uchiha looms over her, glaring down, chest heaving from the force of his yelling.

She has no idea what he’s talking about. She feels more worried for him than insulted at this point.

“Hey Shino.” Chouji cuts in, munching on his second onigiri. “There are insects that don’t get along with your bugs, right? Ones that weren’t born in your hive?”

Shino tilts his head, letting his insects eat bits of strawberry from his daifuku off his finger. “That is a technically true statement. Why? Because while my kikaichū do not have natural enemies in the way ants and termites are opposed to one another, there are several species of insect and arachnid that would prey upon them, which have been utilized by imitator clans in other hidden villages.”

“Right.” Chouji continues. “So, let’s say you found one of these bugs that eats them had injured one of yours. Not killed, but injured. What do you do?”

Shino stiffens, but replies, “I would exterminate it. Why? Because it has proven itself a viable threat to my colony.”

“Wh-that doesn’t mean anything!” Uchiha interrupts. “It’d have to be one of Aburame’s bugs attacking another of the same hive, since Ketsugi was born here, so—”

“No I wasn’t.”

Uchiha actually has the gall to shoot her a disbelieving look. “Yes you were.”

“No I wasn’t.” She hisses, leaning forward. “I was born in Iron, like my father. One of my earliest memories is him and my mother leaving the country, on the run from something that made it better to drug their baby rather than let me cry and have whatever it was find us.”

A hush falls over the table.

“That would explain why you’re here, in Konoha.” Shikamaru says slowly. “Even if it’s not the closest to Iron, it’s one of the strongest hidden villages, so pursuers would have trouble trying to get through our defenses.”

“And guess what happens if the village decides me and mine are too much trouble to live here anymore?” She snaps, taking a swig of her miso.

It’s gone lukewarm.

Uchiha’s turned pale, staring blankly down at his bruschetta. He slowly sits back down.

“So...” Kiba says, feeding Akamaru some pork belly. “Are you, like, some kinda lost princess or something?”

“What? No, of course not.” Ino and Sakura’s eyes take on a worrying gleam. “I said no. I’m not. No. Stop that. Stop it right now, the pair of you.”

“We’re not doing anything~” Sakura sing-songs, hands clasped against her chest.

She squints at them, lips thinning. “Lies.”

“Hey hey, Mayu-chan,” Ino says, leaning forward. “If you just happened to be a lost princess or daimyo’s daughter hiding from a usurper’s assassins, you’d totally hook your best besties in the entire world up with some hot princes, right?”

“Does Naruto even like princes?” She replies, bracing herself against Sakura’s playful assault on her shins and Ino’s tossed napkins. “Ow, ow, I’m kidding, I’m kidding!”

“Aw, what! I wanna meet a prince, believe it!” Naruto whines, though his playful tone sounds a little strained.

“Tough.” She sticks her tongue out at him. He blows a raspberry back in response.

“So who were your family in Iron?” Chouji asks, passing her an apple slice.

She shrugs, handing him her cookie. “Just one of the many, many samurai clans who serve the Iron daimyo. Like the Kiryuuin, the Kurogane, the Kishi, the Kageyama, the Kihote, the Kikuchi, the Kaname, the Koremune, the Kusakabe, and loads of others.”

“Do all of these clan names start with ‘K’ sounds?” Hinata asks.

“...No.” She says.

“Could you give us an example one that doesn’t?” Hinata asks.

“...The Okashi.”

“What the heck, that doesn’t count! They just slapped an ‘O’ in front of the ‘Ka’!” Kiba complains, Akamaru barking his agreement.

“You’re the last person to say anything about ‘K’ names.” Shikamaru replies.

“You’ve not got much room to talk either, Shika-kun.” Chouji ribs, nudging his friend.

From there it devolves into a debate about how many “k” sounds are in whose names, and who has the right to criticize an excess of “k’s” based off of that. So far, only Shino and Hinata are awarded that honor.

Naruto isn’t as active in the conversation as he usually is, only responding when addressed directly, staring into space when not.

Uchiha doesn’t say much at all.

Naruto goes straight to the swing-set outside the Academy once the day ends.

She follows him, watching curiously as he clambers up to stand on the swing, looking up at something behind her with a solemn expression on his face, eyebrows furrowed in thought.

She goes up to the tree and sits between its roots to wait.

Lee comes out of the Academy, and come striding towards them. “Greetings Mayu-chan! Naru—”

“Ssh!” She hushes, jerking her head towards Naruto.

Lee instantly clams up, a quizzical expression on his face.

She shuffles a bit to the side and pats the ground next to her, and he plops down to sit cross-legged beside her.

“What’s Naruto doing?” He whispers to her.

“I don’t know.” She whispers back. “But he’s concentrating really hard, so I didn’t want to disturb him.”

Lee nods in understanding, then waves silently but with great enthusiasm at a girl with her hair in buns who passes them.

She seems like a nice girl, because she waves back.

They play five rounds of rock-paper-scissors, four of which Lee wins, and one of which results in a hushed debate about whether “gun” is a “youthful” option in this game, before Naruto finally speaks.

“I’m gonna be the Hokage, believe it.”

They look up at him, standing on the swing, jaw set in determination, hair swaying in the breeze that swirls a few leaves past his face.

“...Okay? Weren’t you always going to be Hokage though?” She asks, not quite seeing where he’s going with this.

“Wh—yes, but s’more than that.” Naruto says, exasperation evident in his tone.

He lets go of one of the swing’s ropes, and gazes down at his clenched fist. “I wanted to be Hokage ‘cause old Jiji’s the most respected person in the village. Everyone loves him, an’ he protects everyone, because everyone’s his precious people.”

He looks at them, eyes bright and painfully earnest. “But even though everyone in the village is precious, some’ve them’re still so mean to you, and to Otou-san and to Okaa-san, just for being from somewhere not here, f’r bein’ different, an’ that’s not fair. So I wanna be Hokage, so I can tell them not to be mean. I’m gonna be Hokage so you don’t have to bite yourself anymore, and so we can all always go home to Okaa-san and Otou-san and Gai-sensei an’ eat tortoise bread. So everyone can be happy, and understand I’ll protect everyone, no matter what, believe it. What foods we like is more important than where we’re from, right?”

Oh.

She swallows around a lump in her throat. “Right. T-that’s exactly, exactly right.”

Lee gives a great sniff, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. “Your resolve is highly youthful, Naruto! I am sure you will even surpass the Yondaime when you become Hokage!!”

Naruto rubs the back of his head, grinning widely.

Then a stronger gust of wind rocks the swing and he teeters dangerously, arm windmilling as she and Lee lunge forward to catch him, try to cushion his fall somewhat.

She’s partly successful as Lee’s lunge ends up knocking Naruto off the swing entirely, the pair landing on her with a thud that drives the air from her lungs and leaves her wheezing.

“Ow.”

They end up half-limping home.

Otou-san is dozing on the couch, and he blinks awake drowsily at their chorus of “we’re home,” only to tilt his head in sleepy confusion.

“What happened to you three?” He asks, nodding towards her dust and bark covered dress as he picks a few leaves off of Naruto’s clothes, before pulling aside some of Lee’s hair to see the faint bruise where the swing swung back and clocked him in the head. “Did you all get into a fight at the Academy?”

They share a glance.

“N—” Lee starts.

“Yes.” She hastily cuts in, “Big fight. Very nasty.”

Naruto nods vigorously along with her. “Yeah, there were loads of missing nin with huge swords an’ killer laser jutsu an’ stuff.”

“That does sound scary,” Otou-san says, gently ruffling Lee’s hair with bandaged hands. “Lee, why don’t you go get an icepack from the freezer for that bruise? They’re on the top shelf.”

As Lee nods and trot off to the kitchen, her father shifts to sit more upright on the couch. “What were missing-nin doing at the Academy anyway?”

“They thought Mayu-chan was a lost princess, so they were tryna steal her for ransom.” Naruto replies, kneeling next to the couch so he can receive hair ruffles as well.

“Ah, I see.” Otou-san smiles, obliging him. “Mayu-chan, your mother is waiting in the back yard to do that.”

“Already?” She grimaces. She’d forgotten— thought she had more time...

“You don’t have to.” Otou-san urges softly. “There’s no shame in not doing it. I never did when I was your age. We could tell—”

“No.” She says firmly, fists clenched. “I-I want to do this too. Just—let me go prepare, alright?”

Her father nods slowly, his face solemn. She turns and climbs the stairs, ignoring Naruto’s worried stares or his queries about what was going on.

Sanji and Brook give her courage. Let it be over quickly, at least.

“Done.” Okaa-sama says, and she can barely contain her shudder of relief.

Her mother hands her a mirror, brushing stray bits off her shoulders. “Just as it always is, see?”

She keeps her gaze on her newly trimmed fringe and the Nico Robin cut brushing her shoulders, pretending she doesn’t see the shorn, wet slivers littering her clothes and the ground around her.

“Thank you, Okaa-san.” She smiles weakly, gratefully accepting the hug she receives and trying to ignore the pit of guilt in her stomach.

“I don’t get it.” Naruto says, sitting on the threshold of the back door. “What’s so bad about a haircut?”

“Well, for samurai, long hair is a mark of honor.” Otou-san says, hands folded into his kimono sleeves. “To have it cut off is a sign that you are no longer a samurai, which is highly dishonorable for lots of people in Iron. Mayu-chan has the spirit of a true samurai, so she hates having her hair cut.”

“Is that why you still have long hair, Jirou oji-san?” Lee asks, sipping on a cup of juice while holding a half-thawed ice pack to his head.

Otou-san tries to do an overdramatic flip of his braid, making the two boys giggle when it just ends up smacking him in the arm. “My hair is far too lustrous to be cut by the likes of sword or scissors!”

“Care to prove it, dear?” Okaa-san challenges, brandishing her scissors playfully.

Her father retreats back into the house in mock-fear. “You’re one of the lights of my life, darling! Even in the Pure Lands, my love for you will burn brighter than the sun!”

Her mother shakes her head. “And mine for you will shine brighter than the moon. Now inside, all of you, so we can begin making dinner.”

The discussion about hair continues through the preparation of hamburger steaks with sautéed greens.

Naruto and Lee are suitably amazed by the idea of women in Iron wearing their hair practically down to their ankles. Her brain just keeps conjuring up a mental image of Kumadori from CP9 in a woman’s kimono, with his long pink hair and kabuki poses.

“Doesn’t their hair get dirty, Mayu’s Okaa-san?” Naruto asks, almost dropping the patty he’s throwing between his hands.

Her mother shrugs. “I’m sure it must do— I was just as surprised as you when I saw it after I married your Otou-san and moved into the clan compound. I must confess, I never really understood the fascination for long hair that a lot of people in Iron have.”

“Do they not wear it like that in Kiri, Chie oba-san?” Lee says, depositing his chili flake-and-paprika-filled hamburger into the hissing frying pan.

“Oh, they can.” Her mother says, finally taking Naruto’s hamburger off him when he fumbles it again. “My baby cousin Mei had hair down to here.” She wiggles an elbow as she deposits the patty into the pan. “But since her hair was so thick and wavy, she found it a headache to deal with. Mayu-chan’s lucky she got her father’s fine hair, even with my color.”

“I love this color.” Otou-san declares, leaning over from stirring the spinach to plant a loud, wet kiss on Okaa-san’s cheek.

She pretends to gag as Naruto snickers, while Lee watches the display of affection with bright, shining eyes.

“Anyway.” She interrupts loudly. “Otou-san, what are we going to do for practice with the bokken? We were gonna move into fighting opponents before—”

There’s a moment of awkward silence as everyone tries to avoid thinking about what “before” signified.

“Well, you don’t need to worry about that, Mayu-chan.” Her father says, smile a touch too wide and gleeful. “I’ve made arrangements so we shouldn’t be thrown off our planned course too much. You may even pick it up faster!”

She understands the reason behind his glee the next morning.

She wishes she didn’t.

“You can’t be serious.” She says to her grinning father.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He beams. “This is the perfect way for you to get used to fighting an opponent. You need to learn how to adapt what I’ve taught you to counter a variety of fighting styles, given that it’s unlikely every opponent you face will be playing by the same rules you are.”

“Yosh! Well-said, Jirou-san!” Gai-sensei cheers, far too energetic for someone who’s just made them to do thirty laps around Konoha on one leg.

He finishes warming up and takes up opening position for Strong Fist style. “Now, Mayu-chan! Your aim for today will be to land a single blow on me before I disarm you! When you succeed, we will move on to landing two consecutive blows, then three, and so on until you are able to spar against me properly. Are you ready?”

The feeling of imminent regret is an old and familiar friend by this point.

She tries to make sure her grip on the bokken is as solid as possible. “Ready.”

By the time her mother opens the back door, she’s lying on her back, panting from the effort of trying to stand, and the bokken is lodged at the top of the neighbor’s tree.

She hadn’t even landed a hit once.

Even with her father yelling “helpful” advice like “Go for the hands!” once chakra had come into play.

“You have a visitor, Mayu-chan.” Okaa-san says.

“Ah, greetings young Uchiha! How are you this most youthful morning?” Gai-sensei asks cheerily, like he isn’t half-way to scaling the garden fence to get her weapon back for her.

She turns her head to the side, just in time to catch sight of Uchiha staring at the green-spandex-clad wonder that is Gai-sensei in silent stupefaction.

She wishes she had a camera so she could capture his expression.

Uchiha shakes his head, as though to disperse the shock of acknowledging Gai-sensei’s existence, then looks around until he sees her on the ground.

“What are you doing?” He asks, brows drawn down like he’s personally offended by her presence.

“Dying.” She tells him flatly. “Lee gets Habu-san, and Naruto gets all my cookbooks. He’ll eat way too much ramen otherwise.”

Uchiha glances between where Gai-sensei is making a lot of rustling noises and at her, considering. “Can I have the sword?”

She snorts. “Like shit, that’s Sakura’s. You get the all purpose flour.”

Her father sighs and kneels down to offer her an arm up. “Language, young lady. You did very well today.”

Her legs wobble under her and it’s a fight not to collapse right back down.

Gai-sensei leaps from the tree with a yell, rolling and neatly popping up in front of them with a thumbs up. “Yes! Once you stop freezing up in the face of jutsu, you’ll land a blow on me for sure, Mayu-chan!”

Uchiha shoots her a look that is extremely judgmental. “You couldn’t even land one hit?”

“Shut up Uchiha.” She says, taking the bokken back from Gai-sensei with a tired nod. “Why are you here, anyway? Is there a problem with cooking today?”

“We’re not doing that.” Uchiha drops his voice a few octaves. “I’m giving you the opportunity to prove your fighting spirit. You versus me. No politics, no cowardice. No holding back.”

The wind picks up, a cold draft that swirls leaves between them.

“Do you want me to die? No.” She says, leaning on the bokken. “I’ve spent all morning getting my a—”Her mother clears her throat pointedly. “—My butt kicked. I need a rest. And food.”

“Wh—I’ll give you food!” Uchiha blusters. “A-and it’s not just you! I’m fighting everyone!! You can rest while I fight Lee or Shino or something!”

“SUCH YOUTHFUL SPIRIT!!” Gai-sensei bellows, throwing an arm over Uchiha’s shoulders. “You truly are a paragon of your clan’s sense of camaraderie, young Sasuke! I would be honored if you would allow me to witness your battle with Lee!!”

“Young Sasuke” cringes away from the spandex’d arm. “No. No adults allowed. They’ll just hold us back.”

Gai-sensei wilts.

“Mayu can take some pictures of the fight for us!” Okaa-san adds quickly. “She’ll be happy to do it, won’t you Mayu?”

Gai-sensei immediately perks back up. “What a youthful idea, Chie-san!! Mayu-chan, be sure to capture these expressions of Youth as best you can! We’re counting on you!”

He shoots her a vigorous thumbs-up as her mother goes pink and swoons.

“Ah, I think our camera’s in a drawer over here—” Otou-san darts into the house, muttering under his breath about where he last saw it.

She stares blearily up at them. “Can I have a shower and some breakfast first?”

By the time she comes back down from her shower, the atmosphere feels very...awkward.

Lee’s arrived, and has been armed with their family camera on a thick cord around his neck. It’s what she’d consider an old one, big and bulky, that prints out its photos from a little slit on the bottom.

He waves to her, his mouth full of rice. She gives him a little wave back.

Uchiha is sitting stiffly in Naruto’s chair, staring down at an untouched plate of tamagoyaki like it’ll hold all the answers to the universe.

Okaa-san is washing dishes, back tense. She hands her a plate without a word.

Otou-san’s mouth is drawn, bandaged hand curled into a loose fist. He doesn’t even seem to notice Gai-sensei’s hand on his arm.

Gai-sensei smiles at her, but it’s strained. If she didn’t know any better, she’d almost say it was worried.

She wants to ask what happened in a cool, sneaky way that wouldn’t make the situation get worse, like Robin or Nami or Sanji or Brook can. But she’s not smart enough for that.

So she shovels egg and rice into her mouth, trying to eat as quickly as possible.

She wishes Naruto was here. It’s not fair the Hokage gets him for practically the whole two days on these weekends.

She kicks Uchiha’s ankle under the table. When he yelps and glares at her, she nods towards his plate and mouths “EAT”.

He scowls at her, but finally takes a bite, chewing aggressively.

They clear their plates in silence.

“I guess we’re heading out.” She says, after putting their dirty dishes in the sink. Uchiha just grunts and heads straight for the door.

Even Zoro has better manners than that kid.

“See you later Gai-sensei, Jirou-oji-san, Chie-oba-san!” Lee yells, holding the camera tightly. “Mayu-chan and I will fight with all of our youthful spirit today!”

“Lee!” Gai-sensei cries, tears streaming down his face. “You’ve worked so hard in training...I know all your youthful efforts will allow your strength to blossom!!”

“Gai-sensei!” Lee yells back, beginning to cry himself.

“Lee!”

“Gai-sensei!”

She chuckles despite herself. “I’ll make sure to get a lot of good pictures, Okaa-san, Otou-san.”

Her mother catches her face in a soapy hand, thumb stroking over her cheek. Her eyes are impossibly sad, for some reason.

“We love you, Mayu.” She says. “You know that, right?

She smiles. “Of course I know. I love you too. Even more than Luffy loves meat.”

The worry on Okaa-san’s face melts into fondness. She leans forward to plant a kiss on her forehead, then steps aside so Otou-san can wipe the soap off her cheek with a tea-towel and plant a noisy kiss there instead.

Uchiha makes an impatient noise in the hallway, so she and Lee shout their goodbyes as they follow him out of the door.

Lee really likes the camera.

It took him a little bit to work out the settings to keep the photograph from being under or overexposed, but now he’s merrily snapping away at anything that captures his attention.

Which, so far, has included a bunch of pink flowers, a dog, a bird in its nest, a couple of ninja outside a weapon shop, an old lady in a pretty kimono who called him “a very nice boy”, and three babies in matching ninja-themed prams.

“Can you stop that and get a move on?!” Uchiha snaps. “There won’t be any film left at this rate.”

“Ah! Not to worry, Uchiha-kun!” Lee digs around and pulls out three black capsules of the stuff from...somewhere. “Jirou-oji-san was nice enough to insist I take extra!”

Uchiha groans and slaps his hands over his face as Lee catches sight of a curry restaurant and snaps a shot of its sign.

“Aw, lighten up Uchiha. Let him have his fun.” She ribs gently. “Where’s the harm?”

He stops in the street. When she looks back at him, he’s trembling slightly, fists clenched.

“Fun doesn’t make you stronger.” He sneers, “It’s a weakness that sets you up to be killed.”

He strides forward and body-checks her out of the way, stomping off down the road.

She stares after him, more than a little disquieted, scratching at her scar before following.

She stops and stares.

Along the top of the Uchiha compound there are katana, naginata, sai, spears, daggers, arrows, knives, staffs with kunai tied to the top, even what looks like a fishing pole.

All of them have been bound to the top of the exterior wall by copious amounts of black wire and tape, rusting or ornamental blades jabbing at the sky like a hedgehog’s spines.

Lee lifts the camera and snaps a picture.

The rest of their lunchtime group is standing near the entrance to the compound, also gaping at the wall’s spiky additions.

“Ah, Sasuke-kun!” Sakura says. “Um, what’s all this?”

Uchiha scoffs. “I know you’re a civilian, but even you can recognize traps, can’t you?”

“Aren’t traps supposed to be hidden?” Kiba mutters, Akamaru whining on top of his head.

Uchiha pushes open the door, pausing to unhook what looks like several tripwires and other mechanisms. “Even that man wouldn’t be able to get past all of this. He wouldn’t even dare chance it!”

They all begin trooping inside, only for Uchiha to quickly turn and say, “Step exactly where I step if you don’t want to die.”

There’s a veritable web of tripwires crossing the path through the compound, spidering haphazardly up trees and the sides of buildings. Several of the abandoned stores have been rigged with what looks like the sharp things Uchiha couldn’t mount on the wall, alongside what she thinks she recognizes as rudimentary explosives.

Usopp preserve us, she thinks as they gingerly pick their way through the tangle after the last Uchiha, who may have gone off the deep end while they weren’t looking.

Shikamaru mutters “Troublesome,” like an oath.

13 notes · View notes

sprnklersplashes · 4 years ago

Text

heart of stone (17/?)

AO3

Janis doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when she wakes up the TV is off and her tray table is cleared. A soft moan escapes her lips as she stretches, her legs shifting against the mattress and her hand dragging down her face, her mind still almost asleep and wanting to stay there. Her body fights to stay awake, trying to pull her to consciousness, but it’s like pulling yourself out of quicksand. It doesn’t take long at all for her to give in and pull the blankets tighter around her, her hand drifting to the back of her neck-

That gets her up, even if she’s not entirely sure why it did at first. She lays there, frowning in confusion and wondering why something isn’t right. She looks at her surroundings, checking them off one by one, but nothing clicks with her, not until she pushes herself up and runs her hand over her head. That’s when reality shoves her in the chest, the touch cold and cruel and hard, winding her.

She doesn’t remember what she was dreaming about, but she had hair in it.

“Jesus Christ,” she mutters. She kicks the covers off and pulls her knees close to her chest. Her body is still stiff and sore from sleep and her eyes are still heavy and her vision half-blurred. She buries her face in her hand and pulls at the skin, nails digging in like she can take growing lump of self-pity and rip it out with her bare hands. She swallows down whatever pathetic cry was building in her throat and looks out the window instead, out at grey sky hanging over the parking lot and down to the ant-sized people walking around the parking lot and beyond. She leans forward on her elbow and blinks away sleep. They’re saying it’s set to start snowing soon and judging by the colour of those clouds and the frost creeping up her windowpane, that might be sooner than she thinks. A thrill of excitement runs up her spine, and a slow roll of disappointment crushes it. It may well snow, but who knows what kind of state she’ll be in when it does?

“Morning.”

“Oh my god!”

Well, there’s one way to be woken up, she thinks as her heart rate triples and she nearly hits the ceiling from jumping so high. The whole hospital probably just heard that. She predicts that in thirty seconds there will be a team of nurses flooding in, her concerned mother with them, all expecting to see her in the foetal position in the corner.

When she turns around, to her surprise, she finds Damian standing in the doorway, cup in his hand and a sheepish expression on his face. She turns to face him, blinking once, twice, just to make sure she isn’t still dreaming. She goes through the week in her head, trying to work out why and how he came to be here, anxiety ticking upwards.

“Were we…” she begins. “Were we meant to hang out today?”

“Oh, no,” he says with a shake of his head. “No, don’t worry kid.” She shifts then, her hands half-clasped in her lap and the frown not leaving her face.

“So… and I mean this with all the love in my heart,” she asks. “What are you doing here?”

“I just…” His smile just about wavers on his face and he shrugs. “I was in the neighbourhood.”

“You live half an hour away,” she reminds him dryly.

“Okay, okay,” he replies. His voice is strained, tired even, and there’s a flicker of guilt in her chest. “I… just missed you, I guess. I mean I know I saw you yesterday, but I missed you. Still.” He closes the looks down at the cup in his hand and swirls his around. “I went to go get some tea from the machine and when I came back, you were up. Is it a bad time? I mean, it probably is-”

“No, Damian, it isn’t.” She almost admits that it isn’t ideal either, but she bites her tongue and holds it back. It isn’t ideal, not when she’s just barely woken up and she only feels like half of a person, but he doesn’t need to hear that. Not when, judging by his face, he already feels bad enough. And honestly… she missed him too. Especially when he was by her side almost every day since they met. Only seeing him once a week feels wrong somehow, and so any visit, even when she’s not feeling herself, is a welcome one.

With a soft smile, she pushes herself off the bed and motions for him to sit down. She slips in beside him, her legs falling over his and trapping him on the chair before he can attempt to move. Then she throws her arm around his shoulders and tilts his face to look at her, squishing his cheek to lighten the mood. “It’s not a bad time. You could never be.”

“Aw.” He grins, lighting up the room as he does so, and pokes her cheek in return. “You’re sweet.”

“Mm, I have to be every once in a while. Otherwise I’m just an asshole with a sense of humour and great legs.” He chuckles at that and she feels it against her. Their bodies are so tightly pressed together they’re practically the same person, and she’s reminded of when they were still in middle school, having sleepovers where they would lie side-by-side on the couch. They never stopped being affectionate with each other, but they were never quite as intimate that way again until now. It’s a good feeling, and one she hadn’t known she missed. “So, what’s the haps? Oh, winter talent show, isn’t that around the corner?”

“Sign-up sheet is up already,” he tells her. “You’ll never, ever guess what the Plastics signed up to do.”

“Oh God,” she scoffs. “Well, I guess it’s their last year. It would be rude to break tradition. I take it Cady’s doing it with them?”

“They are,” he says. He opens his mouth and closes it again, and despite the lack of spoken words she hears all she needs to, a silent ‘they didn’t tell you’ hanging between them. “They still need a fourth person. Regina said she wants them to start rehearsing soon. Hopefully, this year runs a lot more smoothly than last year’s.”

“Are you doing an act?” she asks. “I think you should.”

“I don’t know. Although I was talking to Aaron and he said I should do a Cabaret number just to show the drama club what they’re missing,” he jokes. “I told him that’s too petty.”

“Not petty enough. Do a lap dance in front of the director. And make it your college audition.”

“You know someone on the Reddit forums said they did and they got into Elon with it.”

“I would check the verification of that,” she says, wrinkling her nose. “Not because I think it’s not true, but because I so desperately want it to be.” He laughs and whispers ‘okay’ at that before the smile melts from his face, revealing something a little more serious beneath it.

“Sorry I scared you,” he says. “I came in and you were asleep, and your mom said I could wait around if I wanted.” He shrugs. “She went to go stretch her legs. It that was a while ago, but I told her I could hold it down here.”

“It’s fine,” she says and waves her hand to prove it. “She needs some alone time anyway. Although I’m very curious as to how long you sat there and watched me sleep.” The corner of her mouth turns up into a grin. “Pervert.”

“I didn’t watch you sleep I read the magazine your mom left here,” he says before he consults his watch. “And it wasn’t even ten minutes.”

“Mm, you say that.” She leans her head on his shoulder and snuggles further into him. It’s not perfect; her knees smack into his chest and narrowly avoid his face, but it’s okay. “We probably should have taken the bed.”

“Oops,” is all he replies and it gets her bursting into laughter. “Eh, this feels more right. More organic.”

“More gay,” she finishes.

“Eh, that too,” he shrugs. “Plus I think this chair and I are permanently bonded now.”

“I’ll send out the wedding invites,” she jokes. She finds a semi-comfortable position with her head propped up on her elbow and her legs draped over the other side of the chair and as she does, an idea sparks up in her mind. “Hey… maybe I could go to the talent show.”

“What?”

“It was one conversation topic ago,” she says. “But the school talent show. Well… maybe I could go.” She inspects her nails. “I mean, it’s not definite. But it would be fun. Especially if you decided to do a funky little Broadway medley.” He grins, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes and she feels her stomach do a turn.

“I mean… I’d love that,” he says. “But… are you sure you’d be able to? I mean, isn’t you being here kind of a permanent thing?”

“It’s not like I’m quarantined, Damian.” It’s only after she said it that she realises how harsh she sounds. She swears that it sounded nicer in her head. Damian blinks slowly as her words turn into dust and settle over them, and all she can do is bite her tongue and attempt to work out where the hell that came from. She shakes her head, a short, quick breath escaping her, and smiles. “Besides, even if I was I’d break out for you.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” he says.

“But it should be fine,” she says. “You know, be back by a certain time. Don’t stay out too much, have my mom on speed dial. And it’s not like we’d be walking around a lot. Besides, we go out all the time?”

“We?” he asks, his eyebrow raised.

“Me and the cancer crew,” she explains. “We’re allowed out as long as we’re supervised and back in time for our chemo. In fact, we’re going to this concert next month.”

“A concert?” he echoes, equally disbelieved.

“Yeah. I mean it’s not something I’d usually be into. It’s that Jingle Ball concert, which isn’t really my thing, but the cancer fund secured a bunch of free tickets. And it’s in some private box. And….” She leans in close, her voice a low, husky whisper to add to the dramatic effect. “A minibar.”

“Oh and I’m sure that’ll go over great with all you underage kids.”

“Yeah,” she grimaces. “But it’s still cool to have. But anyway the point is yes, I am allowed to leave. Thank God. I think I’d go insane if I had to say cooped up in here 24/7.” She shudders at the thought of spending every minute of every day inside these walls. The deal she has right now is bad enough for her. “There would most definitely be a bloodbath at some point.”

“Well that’s a beautiful image,” he says, his eyes going wide as he pictures it too. Janis hides her chuckle behind her hand. “Load of sick children trying to murder each other with their bare hands.

“Don’t be fooled, some of us are very scrappy,” she says. “Anyway, I’ll ask my mom about me going to the talent show. And my doctor, too.” She hesitates then, studying him out of the corner of her eye and gauging his reactions. “If…. That’s okay with you?”

“Okay with me?” he echoes. “Of course it’s okay.” He grins at her then, and it puts her at ease completely. She feels silly for even worrying, even if it was just for a minute. Why would he not be okay with it? “I’d need my biggest fan in the audience.”

“Cady looks cute as shit in that Santa outfit,” she says. “I need to see her in it up close.”

“You already saw her in it last year.”

“Yeah but we weren’t dating last year,” she reminds him. “And also I hated Regina last year, so I kept my distance. And I still hate her, of course. But you know. We’re all friends, I guess.” Damian hums in agreement. She almost opens her mouth to say something else, but she’s too preoccupied by what she just said. That she hated Regina last year and that she still does. The former is true, but the latter? For some reason she isn’t so sure. She may dislike her still, but would she really have called her in her weakest moment if she hated her?

“I’m sure I’ll be able to slip away for an hour,” she says. She shakes her head slightly, trying to clear her head, and hopes Damian doesn’t see. “If nothing else I want to see if they can pull it off without me set designing.”

“You are such a freaking Scorpio you know that?” he scoffs. No sooner has he said it than he gasps loudly, his hand slapping her leg with a loud, loud thwack and likely leaving a little red mark. She rubs the spot and glares at him, even if he’s oblivious to it, hoping to get an explanation. “Your birthday! Your birthday’s coming up.”

“Oh. Yeah.” She shifts in the seat slightly. “That.” Damian looks at her expectantly, his mouth falling into a small ‘oh’, and she just shrugs back at him. “I mean, you’re right. My birthday is soon.” It’s just over a week away actually, not that she’s counting.

“And?” he asks. “We haven’t even started planning yet. What kind of cake do you want? What do you want?”

“You don’t need to get me presents,” she sighs, rolling her eyes. She avoids his gaze entirely, instead focussing on the back of the chair and pulling at lose threads on it. “I mean… it’s fine. I haven’t thought about it a lot.” She pulls harder, the treads making sharp sounds as she pulls them out. “I don’t…. I’m not sure about my birthday this year.”

Damian opens his mouth, the word ‘why’ ready on his lips, but it dies in less than a second and he takes in the room as though he’s seeing it for the first time. She doesn’t blame him, not entirely. Sometimes it’s easy to forget, a combination of old habits dying hard and of conversation taking them away from here, making her feel almost normal again. She smiles to herself, soft and a little bitter, and runs her nails along the back of the chair.

“You sure?” he asks. “I mean I know it’s different this year…. But you only turn 18 once.” He nudges her with his shoulder. “Besides, as the second born in the group, you’ll be setting the precedent for everyone else.”

“I miss when I was the oldest,” she jokes. Back when it was just him and her, and when it was him, her and Cady, she was always the first birthday. Now they’ve melded with the Plastics and Regina’s July birthday has outshone hers. At least she got to go to her party this year. It wasn’t too bad, although she and Cady did end up sneaking out early and making use of the hammock in Regina’s back yard.

Maybe if the topic comes up, she’ll ask her parents for a hammock.

“I just want you to enjoy yourself,” he says after a while. His face is soft when he looks at her, soft and completely vulnerable. It’s one of the many things she loves about him, that unironic earnest manner of his. It’s why she feels the safest with him. The corner of his mouth turns upwards. “Just because you’re in a hospital doesn’t mean you can’t party. And we want to celebrate you.” She raises her eyebrows at him. “Well, I do. And Cady definitely does. And Karen probably just wants cake.” She slaps his head lightly, her touch careful, knowing from experience that being slapped hurts more with a shaved head. But her heart is warm and growing to twice its size, and she needs to take a minute just to compose herself before thinking on anything else.

He’s not the first to being up her birthday. Her mom’s brought it up twice now and both times she’s dodged the topic with as much grace as she can muster and her mom seems to have gotten the hint. It’s not that she doesn’t want to do anything, on the contrary, she wants to do a lot. She had started gathering ideas for her 18th birthday during the summer, gathering inspiration on Pinterest boards and then going to check prices. She didn’t have a concrete idea, but she had hoped a chocolate fountain was involved. It would most likely devolve into a sleepover with Cady and Damian (if her mom would allow a sleepover with her girlfriend). She had other ideas too; maybe a movie marathon, or bowling, or both, and loads of pizza and popcorn and a chocolate fountain and not actually sleeping until the early hours of the morning. The she got cancer, and the plans went out of the window.

The bottom line of it all is, she has no idea what type of day her birthday will be. If she’ll be up and running around and feeling mostly fine or if she’ll start it with her head bent over a toilet and have it all go downhill from there. And the last thing she wants to do is hang plans on something only for it to go south. To have all her friends over and for her to not be here, not really. But Damian’s planted the idea in her head now, and her mind won’t let it go.

“I appreciate that, Damian,” she says quietly. She gives a shrug, a cheeky grin on her face. “And who knows? Maybe we could do something.”

“Really?”

“I said maybe,” she reminds him firmly. Nothing is set in stone either way and that’s the best way to handle anything now. The finer details are a bridge she can cross closer to the time, she decides. It’s the easiest way to not get hurt, and also to make sure no-one else gets let down. For now she smushes her cheek against his shoulder and smiles. “Thanks for coming over by the way.”

“Aww.” He runs his knuckles up and down her arm. “Anything for you, mon Cherie.”

Damian sticks around for almost an hour, the two of them spending the time flicking through the TV and deciding to move to the bed after fifteen minutes, when he says he can’t feel his leg any more. He fills her in on more of the school stuff she’s missed, the news getting more and more mundane until he reaches topics she’s already heard. She doesn’t tell him that though. At some point, she entertains the idea of taking him down to the longue and the two of them commandeering the better TV in there, maybe introducing him to some people, but not two seconds later she pushes it away, suddenly shaken by it. She doesn’t know why, but the idea of introducing Damian to her cancer friends doesn’t sit well with her.

“Thanks for coming over,” she says again, her voice soft and cracking as she does so. She punches his shoulder gently. “I missed you.”

“Sorry I crashed your nap,” he replies, nodding over in the direction of the bed. Janis frowns and follows his gaze. When she looks back at him, he only shrugs awkwardly, his frame almost too big for the door, a guilty expression on his face. “You know… just if I’d known you were asleep I wouldn’t have come over.”

“What? No, Damian.” She shakes her head, her hand halfway extended towards him. “No it’s fine. Besides, it was nice to wake up to you.” She grins. “After the heart attack you gave me.”

“Yeah I’m sorry about that too,” he adds, but there’s more of a smile on his face now. She stretches up on her toes and hugs him tightly, letting him know it’s fine. It’s all fine, really. And while he can’t see her face, she lets out a small exhale, her face scrunching just a little as she thinks about it more. He missed her, and he came all this way to see her. She thinks that maybe she shouldn’t be so surprised at this, not anymore, but here she is.

Her mom is sitting in the chair when she returns to her room, her glasses perched on the end of her nose and her phone screen reflected in them. She sees from the reflection it’s Solitaire and she guesses by her mom’s face that it’s not going well.

“He’s gone home,” she says by way of greeting. She flops onto her bed and ends up in some half-sitting half lounging position, her knees against her chest. She looks at her mom out of the corner of her eye, watching her expression barely changing. Must be a hard game.

“How is he?” she asks, half distracted.

“He’s good,” she says. She ducks her head and if she had hair still, it would hide the smile on her face. “It was fun. We had fun.”

“Well that’s good,” she says, still not putting the phone down but her eyes moving over to her. Janis looks down and picks at the sheets, her legs crossed and she bites the inside of her cheek, the elephant in the room nudging her repeatedly with its trunk until she takes a deep breath just to shut it up.

“Pity I was conked out when he came in,” she says. “That must have been awkward.”

“A little,” she admits. That’s when she puts the phone down and looks at her, her eyes all soft. “He didn’t mind sticking around though.” Janis’ heart warms at that even more than it already was.

“He wouldn’t,” she whispers fondly. She picks up the remote and leans back on the pillows, a small grunt escaping her. Her mom’s ears-fine turned at this point-prick up and she looks over at her, closing the cover on her phone.

“You feeling okay?” her mom asks.

“Fine,” she says tightly. She shifts around on the bed, trying to find a position that’s comfortable. At some point when Damian was here, she had felt a wave of nausea roll over her and while he had provided a good distraction-and was fine with the two of them just sitting on the bed-now it seems determined to make its presence known. On the plus side, she’s almost certain she’s not going to throw up (not that there’s anything to throw up), but that doesn’t stop the feeling of something clawing its way up her throat. “Mom could you get me some water?”

“Yeah, yeah sure sweetheart.” About five seconds, if even, pass between her asking and her mom thrusting the glass of water in her hands. She stays by Janis’ side as she drinks it, her fingers against her temple. Janis feels the weight of her eyes on her and if she didn’t already feel heavily uncomfortable, she does now.

“Mom?” she begins. Her mom’s eyes light up, her lips moving in a wordless ‘yeah?’. “I’m okay. You can go sit down. Really.” Her mom nods and pats her head before she goes. She even makes a show of taking out her phone and looking at it, although one eye always remains on her.

She doesn’t feel any better by that evening either, despite having spent most of the day laying around in her pyjamas. So in addition to feeling sick, she actually feels pretty gross too. Her clothes stick to her body, top clinging to her spine and her pants twisted around her legs. The invisible feeling slithers over her skin, that feeling of inactivity and laziness, that, even if she knows it isn’t her fault, makes her disgusted with herself. She tosses a pen between her hands just to give her body something to do, lest she slip even lower.

“Hey.” Her mom taps her hand. “I take it you’re not up for going down to the cafeteria.”

“Nope,” she responds. She might be able to make it down there, but she may throw herself across the first empty table she sees. Her mom nods, her hand starting to curl around hers. “You go on, I’ll be okay.” She waves the TV remote. “I’ve got Jeopardy! to keep me company. There’s probably a good movie on tonight too.”

“Okay. What do you want me to bring you up?” she asks. “Pretty sure they’re doing that mac and cheese tonight. I might get that for myself too.”

Despite her mom’s enthusiasm, Janis shakes her head, her jaw clenching at the idea of eating anything.

“I don’t want anything,” she mumbles and the minute she says it she braces herself for the reaction. She makes a bet with herself that she can predict her mom’s response word for word. “I’m okay.”

“Janis, you need to eat something,” her mom says. “Why don’t I just bring you up some fries?”

“I’m not hungry,” she sighs, focussing her attention on the TV and fisting her hand in the covers. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees her mom’s stone-cold face cracking and she’s a little surprised if she’s being honest with herself. Normally this goes on for at least three more rounds before her mom relents and makes her promise to eat something later tonight. It’s normally Janis telling her that if she eats something there is a high chance she’ll throw it back up again tonight and a mumbles reminder that no-one wants to go through that. But not tonight.

“Okay,” she says. She stands up and brushes down her jeans. She doesn’t seem annoyed or angry at all, and yet Janis feels guilty all the same. “I’ll be fast. You sure you don’t want some fries brought up?”

“I’m okay.” She shakes her head. “But if they have those bread rolls…” Her voice trails off as relief floods her mother’s face. She doesn’t even try to hide it.

“You want butter with it?”

“If I don’t, I think Dad might appear in here and remind me of my French heritage,” she jokes. “See you in a bit.”

“See you.”

She turns up the volume as her mom closes the door and pulls her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on it and tilting her body forwards. Her spine twinges from the position, but it makes the cramping in her stomach let up, so it’s a burden she’s willing to put up with for now. She takes another shaky sip of water and returns the cup to its precarious position balanced between her pillow and the bedrail. One wrong move from her and her pillow is soaked. It took a significant amount of time to get the cup to balance perfectly like it is.

On the other side of her, her phone buzzes, the screen lighting up and showing her a text from Cady, a simple ‘hey there’ followed by a purple heart. With a gentle giggle, she types a reply.

‘What’s up?’ Cady asks. She hesitates for a moment, her fingers hovering over the screen, before carefully typing out her reply.

‘Not much. Feeling a bit ick rn.’

‘Oh,’ is Cady’s reply, followed by ‘everything okay?’ Janis can almost imagine her expression, the way her face probably fell slightly when she read it, the concern in her eyes. She probably tapped her fingers on the desk as she replied too.

‘I’m fine. Just a little gross. Give me a day and I’ll be peachy again.’ She follows that up with a little peach emoji, the joke not lost on her but probably lost on Cady. ‘Mom’s getting me bread rn.’

‘Like…. Bread as in money?’ Janis snickers at that, half-covering her face with her hand.

‘No. As in actual bread.’

‘Ah. It’s the French side of you coming out.’ Janis sends a little French flag emoji and scrolls through until she finds the chef’s kiss emoji too, committing to the art.

‘What’s happening with you?’ she asks. Cady doesn’t respond with a text or an emoji, rather she sends a photo of her desk; three piles of closed notebooks and one open on the table, covered in six different colours of pen and little neon markers sticking out at the sides like little flags. Behind it, the curtains are drawn and the scene is lit up by the desk lamp and nothing else. Janis is just about to make a comment on the when Cady sends another photo, this time of herself wearing a dark blue hoodie that’s at least one size too big for her, her hair pulled back into a low ponytail and waving a French fry sitting on a fork at the camera. And oh god, her face, one cheek puffed out and her eyes bulging. Adorable doesn’t even begin to cover it.

‘Party for one, I see.’ She opens the photo again and narrows her eyes, a detail catching her eye. ‘Is that my hoodie?’

Cady is silent at first, and then,

‘Oh shit is it?’ Janis zooms in on the photo and turns up the brightness on her phone, just to make sure.

‘Yep. The forbidden planet one. Legit forgot I owned it.’

‘Oops,’ Cady says. The little dots appears in the next second, dancing in their little wave. ‘Do you want it back?’

‘Sure, give me a second I’ll jump in the truck and come to yours, you can toss it out the window to me. Like a gay version of the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet’ she teases. ‘It’s fine Caddy. You hold onto it. I didn’t even notice it was gone. Besides,’ she adds. ‘You look cute in it.’

‘I knew it was comfortable for a reason,’ Cady replies, and despite being alone, Janis buries her head in her arms to hide her blush.

She really hopes this part of their relationship never goes away; the part where she gets stupid happy at silly, sappy things like this. Whatever else changes, she hopes this never does.

‘Anyway,’ Cady goes on. ‘I actually did want to talk. Basically, I’m pretty booked a lot next week, but I miss you, and I wanted to ask if you want to Face Time one day next week? I know we have Friday nights but….. you know’

‘I do know,’ she replies, giggling into her sleeve. They go back and forth working out the finer details, Janis factoring in her medicines and the days she tends to be at her best and Cady looking through their own busy schedule and after they move around a study session, they pencil it in for Wednesday night.

‘I’ll even wear pink for you,’ Janis teases and Cady replies with a stuck-out-togue cat emoji.

‘I should probably hit the books again,’ they reply, this time followed by a sad cat emoji. Something Janis has noticed about Cady is that if they can, the emoji they send will be one of the cat ones. She’s wondered about that. Maybe because they remind them of their lions back in Kenya.

At that moment, her mom comes through the door carrying two little plastic cartons and a napkin-wrapped bread roll on top of them.

‘Yes you should. My dinner’s here too anyway.’

‘I thought you said you were getting bread?’

‘Yes. Bread is my dinner,’ she explains, like it should be obvious. ‘Trust me, it’s all I can eat right now.’ Cady falls silent on their end as Janis takes the bread from her mom and whispers a ‘thank you’, and she bites her lip. Maybe that was a kind of ‘need-to-know-basis’ kind of joke. She flips the phone in her head, her free fingers drumming on her leg as she debates sending a follow-up message assuring them she’s fine.

She’s about a second away from doing so when Cady replies.

‘Enjoy your carbs. I’ll see you later. Xx.’

It makes her smile, but it doesn’t help her breath any easier. She thought that at this point, she’d know where the line is in regard to that kind of humour. That she’d understand that just because her fellow patients are fine laughing at it doesn’t mean her other friends necessarily will be. But her attempts to separate parts of herself into ‘hospital brain’ and ‘normal brain’ have proven unsuccessful so far.

Live and learn, she guesses.

“So I did grab you some pasta,” her mom says as she slides the other container onto her tray table with a guilty expression on her face. She holds her hand up in defence when Janis looks at her, a response apparently written on her face. “Hey, just in case. They even said to take some up to you or it’ll be thrown out tomorrow.” She shrugs helplessly. “Aren’t you the one who loves the environment?”

“Yeah,” she says. She leans over and takes a look. The container is still warm, steam fogging up the lid. Some sort of creamy sauce and green veg over thick strands of pasta. It would look lovely any other day, but now she turns up her nose and moves away from it. “Maybe later.”

“Okay,” she says, tucking into her own dinner. “You know on the way up; I saw that that support group is on tonight. Apparently it runs a few times a week.”

“Is that so?” she asks, paying more attention to her bread than her mom. Behind her, her mom tenses, and she pretends she doesn’t notice. If she wanted to talk about her feelings, it wouldn’t be with her mom, much as she loves her.

“Just keep it in mind if you ever think you need it,” is all she says before turning on the TV. An air as cold as the one outside settles over the room, and guilt mixes in with the nausea in the most unsettling way possible.

It’s not that she doesn’t think she needs a support group. It’s that she already has one; Cady, Damian, her parents. She’s as supported as she needs to be. Plus, all things considered, she thinks she’s doing okay.

She’s not anti-therapy. Hell, she’s been through it and knows she came out the other end stronger because of it. But that was different in a lot of ways. That was her and her therapist, alone in an office, communicating through art. She’s peeked through windows on that support group before, everyone sitting in a circle spilling out their feelings. And that may well be good, but it’s not for her.

Still though, her mom was only looking out for her. She, like her, is doing her best.

“Thanks Mom,” she says. “I’ll think about it.”

Her mom nods and leans back in her chair, her shoulders relaxing as she fills her in on the latest dining room gossip.

******

Late on Wednesday afternoon, Janis pulls one of the chairs into the bathroom and positions it in front of the mirror, her various bits of make-up spread across the sink. Not for the first time, she considers just buying herself a mirror and saving herself the trouble. Even if the bathroom does have really good lighting.

“Do you put on make-up every time you talk to your girlfriend?” Maddie asks from behind her. She’s laying across her bed, watching the world upside-down and her legs dangling off the edge. A few minutes ago she had texted Janis complaining she was bored and Janis, sharp as she is, took the hint and asked if she wanted to hang out in her room while she did her make-up. She know that when she was that age, few things made her as happy or as fascinated as watching her older cousins doing their make-up. She would sit in the corner of their rooms with wide eyes, completely captivated by their tricks. And Maddie, apparently, isn’t much different, albeit she’s far more talkative than Janis was at that age. Not that she minds at all. “Like when you’re just going to hang out, do you put make-up on for that.”

“Sometimes, yeah.” She turns towards her, holding up two eyeshadows. “What do we think? The green or the red?”

“Well, what are you going to be wearing?” Janis answers by gesturing to what she already has on; a dark blue top, embroidered with silver stars, and her leggings. Maddie considers, her face scrunched up in concentration, before she replies. “The red. It’ll make your eyes pop.”

“And you claim you don’t know make-up,” she says, turning back to the mirror.

“But do you?”

“Do I what? Know about make-up?” she scoffs, ready to tell her that she’s been perfecting this skill for years, when Maddie interjects.

“No. Like, wear it all the time. Or is it just for your girlfriend?” she asks. Janis pauses, the lid of a tube of mascara half-twisted off. Truth be told, she doesn’t know how to explain it completely without sounding corny, or worse, unleashing her tragic middle-school life on this unsuspecting child. That in some way, her heavy eyeliner and dark lipsticks became her shield when she returned to school after a year’s absence, making her look braver than she felt already. And the habit stuck. Even with that behind her now, she still feels braver when her eyes are ringed in black.

“I don’t wear it all the time,” she answers slowly. “I just… feel better with it on. And I want to look nice for Cady.” Behind her, Maddie nods, a silent ‘oh’ on her mouth. Janis turns to her then, her eyes stern and her grip tight on the back of the chair. “But that doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone. I wear it because I want to.” She shrugs. “And sometimes I don’t. Like here, I hardly wear it at all. Bigger things to worry about.” She looks pointedly at Maddie. “Make sure that whether you wear it or not, it’s because you want to. Not because you think you have to.”

“Yes ma’am,” she laughs, though whether or not it’s out of discomfort Janis isn’t sure. She jumps off the bed and runs over, her footsteps light and quick, and she comes to a halt right beside her, watching her work with fascination. “When I get a girlfriend,” she declares. “I’m going to do exactly what you’re doing.” She nudges her shoulder. “You’ll teach me how, right?”

“Of course I will,” she says, and it sounds a lot like a promise.

Maddie skips on out of the room when it gets closer for the time Cady’s meant to call, not before making kissy faces at Janis though. She shoos her out of the room but doesn’t even bother to hide her smile as she does so.

She settles herself on the bed and opens her laptop. Cady said she’d call her, but she opens the app just in case, wanting to be ready and also checks her make-up in it. Not a bad job, if she may say so. Glancing up at the clock, she finds she still has a few minutes, so she opens up Twitter and wastes the time there, even if she does check the time every thirty seconds or so, getting more and more giddy each time the number changes. By the time the clock makes it to six, she’s practically squealing.

Cady doesn’t call right away, but she doesn’t think anything of it. She’s probably busy or her clock’s slow or hey, they didn’t say exactly six. Janis is a few minutes late to stuff all the time. So she plays around on Twitter for a few more minutes, filling time until it’s 6:05. And Cady still hasn’t called. Her hand grows cold and curls into a fist at that, her nails pressed into her palm so she can’t bite them. She takes a deep breath, her attempt to distract herself again failing this time. She tries not to overthink it, really tries, but it’s been five minutes. Five. She thinks that’s a line.

Five minutes then turns into ten and that’s when it kicks up a notch. She bites down on her nail, her eyes glued to the home screen as one single thought takes up all of her mind; that Cady’s forgotten her. That she found something better to do with some other people and went and did that instead.

Janis bites the inside of her cheek, her chest tight and burning with a familiar kind of bitterness. The kind that spits at other people, that shakes her head and tells her she’s better off without them anyway. It’s harsh and hurtful and it shouldn’t be associated with Cady. But it is.

Despite her instinct, she waits it out, giving Cady five more minutes to show up. Fifteen minutes is a good cut-off point she decides. All she can do is watch the clock and it’s a reversal of what she was doing just moments before; here instead of going higher, she only plummets lower every time the number changes. By the time it hits 6:15, she’s biting right into her finger and fighting off the urge to cry, the image of Cady texting someone who isn’t her burning into her mind.

But she finds it wasn’t wrong in waiting. Just before she’s about to shut her laptop off, the little ringing noise cuts through the hair and Cady’s selfie fills the screen.

“Janis!” she gasps. She’s not in her room; the paintings behind her are the ones in the Heron’s hallways. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I was tutoring and I meant to be home before six, but it ran overtime and the bus was two minutes late-” As she talks, the scene changes quickly behind her, moving so fast Janis almost feels sick from it, her feet loud on the stairs until she finally reaches her bedroom. “And anyway, long story short, I meant to call at six, I promise. I just lost track of time.” She looks up at her, eyes big and wide and so utterly sincere Janis feels bad for being upset. “I’m sorry, Janis.”

“It’s okay,” she says. “I wasn’t waiting that long.” If Cady notices how close her hand is to her mouth, or her bitten nail, she doesn’t say. Instead she settles on the bed and props up the phone against a pillow.

“You sure?”

“It’s fine, Caddy,” she says, and it is. Except it sort of isn’t, and she’s not sure if she can say it was Cady’s fault. “Just… text me about it next time?”

“I will. I will. Sorry,” she says again. They both fall quiet after a while, Cady winding a lock of her hair around her finger, and the silence weighs heavily on Janis’ chest. Old anxieties from long ago jump up at her like a dog demanding attention.

“So who were you tutoring anyway?” she asks.

“Oh, this freshman girl,” Cady explains. “Lily Reynolds. She’s sweet, her mom just wanted her to have a little help with calculus.”

“And she got North Shore’s finest,” Janis remarks, the corner of her mouth quirking up, and Cady giggles.

They’re close to fine after that, the conversation almost as easy as it’s ever been, save for how off Janis feels throughout it. She can’t shake it, no matter how many jokes they make or how many cheesy compliments they throw at each other. The whole thing, much as she loves it, feels like it’s two inches off from where it should be, and she doesn’t like that feeling.

They wrap it up after a little over an hour, Cady needing to start her homework and Janis aware that she’ll start an IV soon.

“Sorry I was late,” she says again.

“It’s okay,” Janis assures her. “Really, Caddy. Shit happens.”

“Yeah,” she sighs. “I’ll see you on Friday?” Janis swallows and her throat feels like sandpaper.

“Yep. See you Friday.” She blows a kiss to the camera before Cady signs off, her cheeks just about to turn pink. She closes her laptop and sits back, her hands wringing in her lap. She feels like she’s just ran around the perimeter of the ward. She shakes her head as if that can make everything she’s feeling just magically fly off her body and she can suddenly be okay. Like she can forget that for fifteen minutes, she genuinely thought her girlfriend had forgotten about her.

She presses her clammy hands together and bites her lip. Hadn’t there always been this fear, since this whole thing started? That her not being there would take a toll on her relationships and that her friends would become used to her absence and move on with their lives? Find new people, or just fill the gap she had left all on their own? And even if it hadn’t happened this time, it was more than enough to shake her. It had always been there, but it hadn’t been so prominent until now.

She leans forward and runs her hand over her face. She guesses with a sad realisation that this is mainly her cross to bear. She can’t talk to Cady or Damian about this, not without saddling them with guilt. The last thing she would ever want to do to either of them is make them feel like they have to pay attention to her for the sake of it. Besides, how would either one of them, or anyone for that matter, understand something like this?

She leans back on the pillows, about to resign herself, when something on the shelf catches her eye, and she remembers something from earlier. And she realises that if the built-in support system isn’t up to it, she might have to check out a new one.

That’s how she finds herself standing a little down from the longue on Saturday, the nails on her left hand nearly picked clean off of her and her heart in her mouth. She checked the flyer Cassie gave her way back when at least five times this morning, committing the room and the time to memory, leaving no place for error. Cancer Youth Support Group, longue, 2:30pm, Saturday afternoon. Every week. Plus extra sessions during the week.

A voice in her head that doesn’t sound like her tells her to turn tail and go back, make up some story to her mom about changing her mind. That this isn’t her, not what she does and that above all, she can’t do this. She can’t go in there, in front of so many other people, and talk about her stupid insecurities and expect them to get it.

But that little voice fades out, overwhelmed by one that does sound like her, that tells her that even if she thinks can’t do this, she has to try. That she’s okay. And since the alternative is stewing in her own complicated emotions by herself, she strides up to the door, takes a deep breath, and knocks.

The door is opened by a young-ish woman in a yellow polo shirt, the logo she recognises at the cancer centre on the chest. Her eyes grow wide upon seeing her and Janis shifts on her feet. Behind her, a dozen or so kids sit in a circle on plastic chairs, like they used to do in elementary school. Melissa is among them, and she gives her a small smile when she sees her. The tightness in her chest eases at that.

“You got room for one more?” Janis asks and the woman nods, all soft smiles and even softer eyes.

“Always,” she says. “Come on in.”

#mean girls fanfic #mean girls musical #cadnis #candis ff #janis sarkisian #cady heron #mean girls broadway #fic: heart of stone

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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981

Name 10 Of Your Friends

1. Laurice 2. Angela 3. Luisa 4. Andrew 5. Kate 6. Gabie 7. Tina 8. Jo 9. Liana 10. Jane

Are you related to number 1?: I’m pretty sure we are not, not even distantly.

Do you love number 2?: Like a sister. She means everything to me.

Is number 3 older or younger than you?: She’s older by literally a few days. We were born in the same month, same year; but she arrived around a week earlier.

Are you romantically involved with number 4?: No. I’ve never been interested in them in that way.

Do you wish you could see number 5 more?: Absolutely. She was one of the best friends I made in college and I wish we had/have more opportunities to see each other. I don’t think I’ve hung out with her since the Christmas season last year :(

How did you meet number 6?: Mutual friends introduced us to each other and it was best friend-hood from there.

Would you ever kiss number 7?: Eh, she’s more like a sister to me so pass.

Does 8 share the same taste in music as you do?: We share some favorites as far as I know, but ultimately we have different tastes. Her favorite is the Vampire Weekend, a band I’ve never listened to.

Would you tell a secret to number 9?: I’ve met her irl only once, but sure. I find her reliable.

Would you ever live with number 10?: I think we can be roommates, but I also think we’d drive each other crazy. Also I’m a little intimidated by her so that might ruin my experience living wherever we’re staying in.

Have you ever dated any of the 10 people listed?: Yep.

Would 3 and 7 make a good couple?: Ooh I doubt it. They have very different personalities; I’m pretty sure they’d clash all the time and that they would be simply incompatible. It doesn’t help that Luisa’s gay and Tina’s straight, so.

Do 2 and 5 get along?: As far as I know they’ve never met. They could probably get along; they’re both super friendly and can fit in any crowd.

Are you secretly in love with number 6?: Well, it hasn’t been a secret for a very long time now.

When did you last see number 8?: :( :( :( Don’t do me like thissss. Oh man. I genuinely have no clue. Last year? January of this year? It’s been ages.

Does number 2 know number 6?: Very well. They’re my two best friends so we’ve been in the same room, same car, same bar, same house, etc. plenty of times.

Have you slept in the same bed as number 4?: I don’t recall ever doing so. We’ve lied on the same bed, but neither of us fell asleep that time.

Is number 7 single?: Yes. She’s had her fair share of crushes through the years that I’ve known her but she’s never had a boyfriend.

What do you like to do with number 5?: Drink, smoke, catch up, laugh.

Has your mom met number 6?: Like a million times.

Are number 4 and 8 friends?: I wouldn’t call them friends. I dunno if Jo’s opinion of them has changed in the last few months, but the last thing I’ve been aware of is that Jo does not like them too much. I vividly remember how Jo’s crowd and Andrew’s crowd had to sit at completely opposite tables during our Christmas party last year. Because I was friends with both groups, I spent the evening moving from one table to another before settling at Jo’s because I was closer to that group haha.

What does number 9 look like?: To be honest with you I barely know her. Covid kept us from hanging out but I’m so ridiculously sure that we could’ve ended up becoming great friends, so I’ll always feel crappy about that could’ve-been. From what I remember, she has curly hair and braces, but that’s pretty much all I was able to note down about her appearance in the one time we met in person.

When did you last talk to number 10?: The other day. I needed the contact number of someone who works where she works, so I asked her if it was possible to retrieve the contact details from her.

What was the last thing you said to number 2?: I showed her this meme, hahaha.

Have you ever hugged number 1?: SO MANY TIMES. She is such a hugger. Absolutely no complaints about it.

Is number 2 in a relationship?: Yes, with Hans.

Would 3 and 5 ever get in a fight over you?: I have no idea why two people would ever fight over me. I’m not desirable at all...so no.

How old is number 4?: They are 22, same age as me.

When will you next see number 6?: I don’t know. We have completely opposite work shifts and it’ll be that way for a while, so it’s really hard to tell.

Have you ever hooked up with number 9?: Oh wow, no. That feels wrong.

Do 7 and 8 live in the same place?: No, they’re a few cities apart.

Do you want to talk to number 10 right now?: Not really. I’m not annoyed with her or anything; there’s just nothing to say to each other at the moment.

Is number 3 in your phone contacts?: Yes.

You caught 7 and 9 kissing, your reaction is?: bruh what

Does number 2 smoke?: Socially.

You throw a party and invite 2, 3, and 4, would there be any problems?: For the most part not really, except Andrew tends to get really rowdy and raucous when they’re drunk and that might not go over well with Angela in particular. But who knows? They could also end up being a fun trio; they all have great personalities so I can definitely see that happening as well hahaha.

You're on a roadtrip with 1 and 7. Is it awkward at all?: Not at all. Those two have a great dynamic and are the bubbliest and friendliest people I know. It would be such an entertaining car ride and I wouldn’t complain about driving at all if they were my two passengers.

8 just kissed you. What do you say?: Ask her what it was for. But idk, I feel weird thinking about it actually.

3 and 9 just got into a fight. What might it be about?: They probably just disagreed on something ideology-wise. Luisa is a hardcore red and is very radical; Liana shares the same ideals but is several notches lower. It wouldn’t be a full-blown fight and they’ll most likely end up having an intelligent debate.

Does 7 hate 9?: No. That would be such a tricky spot to be in considering they’re part of the executive board for the org. They should make it a point NOT to end up hating each other lol.

How is 4 today?: I think they’ve been doing alright for the most part! They recently launched their new passion project, a podcast, and so they’ve been super excited and giddy over the last few days. As they should. The podcast looks so promising and I can’t wait for the first episode.

Where does 8 live?: In a city in Metro Manila.

Have you ever liked 6 more than a friend?: Yes.

Would 2 and 4 look cute together?: Not a fan. I’d rather they stick to their current significant others.

Would you ever borrow any of 2's clothes?: Sure! She has a lot of cute pieces. They’d be a size or two larger for my frame, but I’m willing to experiment if she’s willing to lend her clothes to me.

Is 3 taller than 10?: Yes. I think everyone is taller than Jane. HAHAHA

Are you taller than 7?: She’s taller by a few centimeters.

Would it surprise you if 9 got arrested?: I don’t know, actually. Like I said, I’ve barely gotten the chance to know her. At this point in our relationship I can’t really tell if she’s the feisty type.

Could you live with 3 and 4 for a year?: Sure. I thnk it would be the two of them who’ll end up having a blast living together as they’re obsessed with everything sports and sports will definitely dominate the TV and dining table discussions. I can be like their mom, I guess hehe

Do you like number 6's hair?: Yes.

Does number 1 know something about you that most people don't?: I’ve probably shared a secret with her here and there, yes.

8, 6, and 1 are hanging out together. Likely or no?: 8 and 1, for sure. They’re pretty much best friends. With Gabie, not so much. The only time Gabie will be in the picture is if I hang out with them as well.

When did you last hear from number 10?: Again, the other day when I asked for help about something work-related.

Could 3 and 8 be friends?: They already are; we’re in the same college friend group, the daydrinkers ha.

Who do you have more in common with, 4 or 9?: We’re both similar in different ways though...Andrew and I enjoy wrestling and Liana and I share a few interests like The Crown. Just because I know Liana a lot less, I’ll go with Andrew.

What do you usually talk to number 6 about?: Everything under the sun. She’s my best friend. There’s nothing she doesn’t know about me.

Is number 1 a good dancer?: I haven’t really seen her dance, so I wouldn’t make for a good judge.

Have you ever gone swimming with number 5?: Yes.

Would you ever have a sleepover with number 2 and 3?: It might be awkward at first as they’ve never met, but sure! We can give it a try. I don’t necessarily think they’re incompatible; they just haven’t met ever so it might just take some time for them to warm up to one another.

Could you see yourself having kids with number 7?: No. That is kinda weird to think about; I’ve never thought of her in that way.

Do you find number 1 attractive?: She’s pretty and has a nice, big smile, so yes.

You're in trouble. Who do you call first?: Gabie.

Is number 2 a good shoulder to cry on?: Absolutely. If I needed someone to run to and cry it’d be her or Gab.

Will you talk to 9 tonight?: Nope. I don’t really talk to her, but I’d love to be closer with her.

Does 10 have any irrational fears?: She probably does, but it’s never been raised in any of our conversations so there’s no way for me to know of them.

Do you know something personal about number 4?: A lot. They trust me with a few of their secrets and I’m honored that they do.

Do you text number 5?: Not really. We communicate mainly on Messenger and we talk at least once a month.

Does 8 have a nice body?: For sure. Jo is 5′7″ – which is gargantuan in this country – and I’ve always thought she was such a badass for being so tall. We all deadass look like ants next to her.

Do you approve of the people number 9 dates?: I’m not aware of her love life history, if there is one.

Would number 6 look good with facial hair?: I mean if she wanted to grow facial hair, I wouldn’t mind. I’d find her attractive all the same.

Would you ever date one of number 7's siblings?: Noooooo, her brothers are a little old and as far as I know one of them is already married lmao.

Would you go to number 10's wedding?: I would love to.

How would you react if you found out number 8 had a drug problem?: Try to reach out. And ask the other people in the EB if she’s been getting the help and support that she needs.

Did you go to school with number 1?: Just university, though she’s a year level lower. We went to different schools in grade school and high school.

How did you meet number 2?: I was class number 9 and she was class number 10 in Grade 1. And then I stabbed her palm with a pencil; the rest was history.

Would it surprise you if you found out number 4 was stalking you? It would surprise and anger me, yes.

Does 3 make you smile?: All my friends make me smile. That being said, yes Luisa sure does.

#survey #surveys

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areyougonnabe · 5 years ago

Note

a/c prompt: spooky? since it is close to halloween. (also if you wrote anything taking place in the it’s a nee craze universe i’d cry from happiness but i’ll do that no matter what you write)

yay here we go! this one is set in the “it’s a new craze” universe, following on to the events of the fic.

Aziraphale pushed open the door to Crowley’s flat and called out, “Hello!”

His voice echoed around the slate cavern of the flat, and bounced back unreturned.

It was already a few minutes past their usual recording time, so he’d expected Crowley to be waiting for him, feigning righteous annoyance but only managing fondness, as he always did when Aziraphale was late, which was regrettably often.

But the demon hadn’t greeted him at the door, and Aziraphale couldn’t hear any sound coming from inside.

“Crowley? Hello?”

Moving into the room, Aziraphale could see that the recording rig was all set up and ready to go on Crowley’s big marble desk— there was even the little red light on the interface, warning of a recording in progress— but no Crowley.

How odd.

Aziraphale sat down at his usual seat, across from the open laptop, and for want of anything else to do, took the bundle of letters for that week’s show out from inside his coat, and began to flip through them.

By the time he’d selected a few seasonally appropriate queries, regarding everything from workplace costume contests to settling arguments over candy superiority, a fair few minutes had passed, and there was still no sign of the flat’s resident demon.

Aziraphale stared with guarded intent at the laptop, gave the room one last sweep with careful eyes, and then quickly circled around the desk and sat down in Crowley’s chair.

The computer was open and unlocked, the recording program chugging away. With delicate care, Aziraphale navigated away from the application, and then—

“Nononono!”

Aziraphale’s hand flew away from the keyboard and his head shot back, tilting up towards the source of the noise.

“Crowley! What on earth are you doing up there?”

The light on the audio interface blinked at him out of the corner of his eye, and Aziraphale clarified: “Listeners, he was hiding from me on the ceiling.”

“We’re going to have to cut that out,” said Crowley, from his perch, crouched on the dark ceiling of the room for all the world like a Balmain-wearing bat.

“Why? You didn’t have a problem upping the ante last week to include you summoning endless cans of that fizzy flavor water to the desk without ever getting up for the fridge.”

“Fine. Whatever. Anyway, if you must know, I was going to spook you.”

“Spook me?”

“Scare you! You know, spooky! Happy Halloween! I was gonna wait five more minutes, ratchet up the tension, and then, you know, um. Boo. Perfect episode opener. But then you had to go snooping, like the— the— snoopy snoop you are—”

“I wasn’t snooping!”

Crowley smirked at him from the ceiling. Aziraphale’s neck was beginning to hurt, craning up to look at him like that, and it was with a hint of peevishness that he continued, “I was going to leave a little note for you, actually. To find later. Hello, darling, just a little reminder that I love you. Now back to Twitter for you, that sort of thing.”

“…Oh.”

“Anyway, that settles it,” said Aziraphale, standing from Crowley’s chair, and walking a few steps to the left so he was directly underneath him as he stared up. “We’d best progress our discussions about me moving in, because you are driving yourself up the wall here on your own.”

“Fuck, angel,” said Crowley. “Terrible pun.”

“Now, you come down here this instant, we’ve got an episode to record.”

“Okay. You ready?”

“Ready for wh— OH!”

With a soft whoosh, Crowley dropped down from the ceiling, and landed, with an easy, agile grace, right in Aziraphale’s arms.

“He caught me, listeners,” said Crowley, towards the microphone.

Aziraphale laughed. “Don’t I always?”

@Phoebe_Loop13FJSDFSD THE HALLOWEEN EPISODE “he caught me” IM GOING TO KERMIT

@lovetogetdone@Phoebe_Loop13 the thing is i dont even care how ham-handed and overdone the stupid fallen angel metaphor they’re featuring this season is, as long as we get crowley saying things in that voice its like… they could be rping vegetables for all my gay heart cares

@Phoebe_Loop13@lovetogetdone LMFAO I KNOW its almost hilarious how low my standards are for these mfers … It’s The Audible Love !!!!!!!

#felt sooo weird at first not doing script format for this one haha #it's a new craze #my writing #good omens #flclets #lakesandquarries

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elenatria · 6 years ago

Text

AVENGERS: ENDGAME SPOILERS

Well, you know I’m not too good at keeping secrets so here’s the warning for you in the title as well as in the tags. So you’ve been warned. Alright? Alright.

So here it is, BIIIIIIG SPOILERS.

If you go to the film with zero expectations… you would be absolutely right lol.

Sure it delivered. And it has many pros. But they’re just bits and pieces here and there and don’t outweigh the empty feeling I had when it was over.

Pros

Hawkeye, the Hulk and Ant-Man finally got the screen time in an Avengers movie they deserved.

Valkyrie, Korg and Miek are back.

The humour was decent.

Valkyrie becomes KING, fuck yeah, she totally deserved to be a king and not just a queen.

Joe Russo plays the first ever openly gay character in an MCU movie (I think). That was cute, I loved it.

Frigga, my sweet lovely Frigga.

Loki’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-them scenes. We finally find out why Thor put a muzzle on him. And muzzle or not, Loki still manages to mockingly wave goodbye some Hydra people (was it Hydra people? And Pierce…? Don’t remember) as the elevator door closes on him and Thor.

That brief but significant Stucky moment. “I’ll miss you”. Well shit…

Falcon becoming the new Captain America? Hellz yeah.

Peter changing “Mr Stark” to “Tony” in utter desperation and their hug before that. “That feels good!” Yeap, it sure made a Starker fan out of me.

Thor giving a clear hint at the end of the film that the story’s not over for him. Unlike Evans and RDJ, HEMSY IS NOT DONE WITH THOR, PEOPLE!!!

The writers were “clever” enough to not let us know what Thor’s new journey or quest is going to be but hey, we can still hope he’s going to Hel to find Loki, right?

This time I did kinda cry for the people who died, nicely filmed and scripted scenes.

The bloody Tesseract served a purpose in Loki’s hands, I knew it, I KNEW IT!!!

Cons

Everything else. I mean…

Captain Marvel being cringey as ever, and Thor being forced by the script to “like” her.

The “all girl” team by the end of the film, as if they were striking a pose to become poster girls for feminism. Yeah, didn’t work.

Cap’s super forced and gratuitous happy ending with Peggy.

The “death” of Stucky once more.

Loki? Loki who? Thor is an alcoholic and depressive, however he doesn’t mention Loki once. Not. ONCE. This is even worse than Infinity War.

A whole mess of a script. Dude, don’t put time travel in your story if you don’t know how to use it. By the end it all felt like “Twilight”.

Of course no Hel, no Valhalla, no Hela, no army of the dead. I swear I know fanfic writers who write better scripts than that.

All in all… what a pointless film.

Anyways, now we can go back to our lives and write better fanfics.

#loki #thor #thorki #spoilers #hel #hela #stucky #starker #chris hemsworth

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vivithefolle · 6 years ago

Note

Can you rec some Ronarry fics? (Preferably long ones?) Sorry if I'm annoying you.

You’re not annoying me at all, Anon! :D Thought I’m super frustrated because I’ve read one very long fic that has Ron searching for Harry, who has amnesia and ran away to America (and is gay but nobody knew that) and Ron realizes he’s in love with Harry and the fic has about 30 chapters and it’s on FFN but I can’t find it!! x_x

Sooo… I didn’t find that many long fics but I can give you a long list of them if you want?

Beautiful FriendIt took six years for Harry to learn something in History of Magic.This one. Oh my lord this one… it’s short, but it’s amazing. It’s full of lovely lively details and Harry’s description of Ron is… aaaww.

Life DrawingDean watches, and sees something unexpected.Again, the descriptions! My lord the descriptions, and also you will relate very much to Dean if you’ve ever worked with pencils.

Something They Can Barely SeeHarry has no idea how to tell his best friend he wants more that friendship. He’s pretty sure this would be hell of a lot easier if he knew for sure how Ron felt about him.This one is plenty cute. Ron is adorable and Harry… Harry’s trying his best. :’D

Our Inner BeastsLater, Madam Pomfrey would tell them that both Bill and Ron were going to survive. But she had no idea what the effects of a werewolf bite, when the werewolf was still in human form, could do to their behavior.Okay, who’s up for writing more Creature!Ron fics? Seriously. Someone do some more of those. Here we have Ron as a werewolf, aggressive, feral, self-loathing… doesn’t matter, Harry loves him.

Running with the Wolf, Loving the Mansnapshots of Harry Potter’s life with a werewolf boyfriendFollow-up of Our Inner Beasts. Someone heard our prayers and gave us more Werewolf!Ron, and it’s as wonderful as it sounds.

What HappenedThat’s just the thing, though. He doesn’t know what happened. He can’t pinpoint a single event where everything suddenly made sense. There was no epiphany or choir of angels or aligning of stars, or any of the other rubbish Parvarti goes on about in the Great Hall. There’s no one moment when he realized, “Oh.”Ron and Harry’s friendship, only it’s not just friendship. The last line will make you want to put on some epic music.

Follow The Butterflies“Why did it have to be spiders?” Ron moaned. “Why couldn’t we follow the butterflies?” Harry privately agreed with his best friend, but if there was anything Hogwarts had taught him, then that if he didn’t do something, no one would. “I promise the next time we have to follow anything, it will be butterflies.”Harry and Ron’s friendship again, with more butterflies thrown in the mix. It’s just as perfect as it sounds. If you don’t ship Harry/Ron, this fanfic might just change your mind.

Sonnets of Magical InterferenceHarry receives some strange notes about his love life, or lack thereof.By the end of that fic, you might just cheer for a very controversial character.

HeavenHarry’s heaven includes Ron.Features Ron being emotional over a movie, Chinese takeout, and Harry being a sap. What more could you ask for?

Harry Potter And The World That Went Bloody Insane“I know something you don’t know” is, apparently, the essence of Harry Potter’s love life. Harry’s certain that the world has been reading one too many romance novels, but then, Harry’s always been a bit oblivious.Featuring Protective!Attentive!Caring!Ron and Oblivious!Harry in their stinky flat and everyone shipping Harry/Ron. It’s awesome.

Check MateHarry questions his dreams, Ron has a scary one of his own, Hermione and Cho plot, and Seamus and Dean obsess.Harry’s subconscious has lots of funny ideas. Ron is ridiculously cute. Might be a bit difficult to read because of FFN’s shitty formating for line breaks.

On The OutsideHarry doesn’t think there’s much point to his being gay. He can’t have regular sex, he can’t have children, and he can’t tell his best friend he’s in love with him.Ron is utterly adorable, do I really have to say it? Why, yes, yes I do.

Newton’s LawFor every action, there is an equal and opposite reactionCheck out this author’s other Harry/Ron fics. I especially like Brass Ring; in the meantime, have a rather in-character reaction of Hermione and Ginny finding out about their ex-boyfriends dating. Hey, not my fault if JKR doesn’t know how to write strong female characters without making them abusive.

Sleeping BeautyThe most gen ever retelling of Sleeping Beauty.Who cares if it’s gen, it’s amazing. Harry sleeps, Ron is wonderful, and ants get colorful.

The Complexities Of Muggle MachineryHarry bought a refrigerator. Then it was a microwave. Then a blender. Thursday was the coffee brewer. Ron really liked that last one.Ron is absolutely, heart-stoppingly, adorably cute and pretty much just like I imagine him to be around Muggle things. Harry’s lucky.

After the cupcakesThey never really talked about it but they are each other’s world. And perhaps a lazy Sunday morning is as good a time as any to finally say something.Utterly sappy and fluffy and you know me, I was mostly there for Harry’s description of Ron. It didn’t disappoint.

Sing Your LoveThroughout the years they’ve lived together, Harry has always enjoyed Ron’s singing but lately he’s been picking up hidden messages in his flatmate’s song choices.Do you like Ron singing? Do you like Ron dancing? Do you like Ron crying his heart out over an emotionally oblivious Harry? Well in that case you’ve found the perfect fic!

Snakes & LaddersAfter the final battle with Voldemort, Harry intends to get on with his life. There’s just one problem; he was supposed to have died when he confronted Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest and now the Other Side is trying to collect him. But in the space between his ‘death’ and the victory celebrations, Harry’s fallen in love… and he’s not going to give up his second chance without a fight.A complicated premise, a complicated tale, a very worried Ron, a very determined Harry, an entirely unwelcome Severus Snape coming from beyond the Veil, all leading up to an epic confrontation in the Other Side. Who knew the afterlife had a court?

Now, it’s time for… TEH SMUT! D:Every story below this text will have MATURE CONTENT. Shoo, children, shoo!

Partners (last chapter gets NSFW)What if the girls hadn’t come in just then? What course of action would Harry, in his desperate frame of mind, have latched onto instead?This fanfic made one of my most desperate wishes come true. For those who don’t know me, I’ll just tell you that Cinderella isn’t a matter of gender.

Scars (warning: mentions of self-harm)Ron is embarrassed of his scars, and Harry might be able to help.Ron is his terribly self-loathing self, but at least Harry is there to remind him of what we Ron-lovers know: that he’s loved and beautiful.

The Matchmaker (contains sexual mention)Sir Nicholas has never had a couple like these two…Nearly-Headless Nick ships Harry and Ron. So does the entire Gryffindor House. All in all, just what we need.

Exploring The Spectrum (NSFW at the end)Ron wakes up to find he can only see in a single colour.Very interesting mystery and clever use of a forgotten plot point. The resolution is basically “sex solves everything” but otherwise it’s a great story.

Hug! Hug! Kiss! (second-to-last drabble is NSFW)Ron loses Harry in a foreign land. In other words, Harry accidentally joins a Japanese boy band.This story is ridiculous, confusing, crazy, and absolutely hilarious. No existing celebrities were harmed.

Just Another Teenage Epoch - Ron Weasley, 1999 (NSFW at the end)Ron wants to be an Auror, and he wants to not grow up, and he really wants other people to stop kissing Harry.The classic mistletoe tale! Ron is not amused at all. It’s okay, we’re rooting for him (and Harry is, too).

Trapped in Winter (NSFW at the end)Harry and Ron have an argument. When Ron goes to storm out of the room, he’s frozen in time, and when Harry touches him to see what’s the matter, they’re both transported to a snowy winter wonderland.A surprising premise that leads to a confused, hurt Ron and a tight-lipped Harry, and of course, to Harry/Ron. Pretty nice!

That We Might Be Exactly Like We Were (warning: graphic self-harm, realistic depression, themes of suicide)'Everything just takes me back, to when you were there…’This author pretty much nails what depression is like. She also has several other Harry/Ron fanfics that are written just as expertly as this one, but be forewarned, they tend to deal with very upsetting topics as well. Sadly, I could see her version of Ron existing in the canon we know.

Slow Slide (get out) to a Better Place (warning: abuse and r*pe)Harry told himself that everything was fine in his relationship with Ginny, at least until he couldn’t lie to himself anymore. And by then, he thought it might be too late. Fortunately, he has two very good friends who will always be there for him, one of whom might eventually be something more.Downside: Ginny fans should NOT read this story. Upside: contains Vivi’s most beloved ship, Romione + Ronarry.

Prelude and Fugue (NSFW in the middle)It took over an hour, from the time Harry arrived at work, for him to realise just how different today actually was.The “Groundhog Day” loop is wonderfully done, you can actually feel the weariness building as Harry wakes up and notices it’s still Monday, bloody Monday.And Ron is absolutely adorable - yes, I’ll say it every time!

Princes of Maine (NSFW at the end)Harry wakes one morning to find an abandoned baby on his doorstep. Little does he know that this is only the beginning of his most challenging adventure yet: parenthood.You want Harry as a single parent and not knowing anything about babies? You have it. You want Ron as a competent Healer who’s sick of Harry’s shit and determined to get answers as to why his best mate is a wreck? You have it. You want Harry/Ron? What are you waiting for, dive in!

Still looking for more? Take a look at this post!

#ask #vivi answers #harry x ron #shipping #fanfic recs #hp fanfic recs #fic recs #hp fic recs

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